A Bittersweet Love
by Adobo-chan
Summary: COMPLETE. The Kinomouto's have lived an aristocrat's life, but when they have to repay the Royal Family back for an old loan, they can't. So the Li's take away an invaluable 'item' from the Kinomouto's, as a gift for Prince Syaoran. S/S
1. Prologue: The Messenger

AN: Hello everyone! This is my first try at a CCS fic. I'm a huge fan of Sakura/Syaoran. I decided to try something new. I usually write only DBGT fics (Trunks and Pan are the BEST!!!!), but I don't want to get too hung up on one fandom. So, here's a CCS story for you guys! Please review!!!! It's my first attempt!  
  
Summary: The Kinomouto family has been living high and dry in the land of luxury. But when it's time to pay back the Li family (they live in the Li Kingdom), they're not sure how.  
  
So the family takes something very precious from Kinomouto's... their youngest daughter, Kinomouto Sakura, as a gift for the Prince (almost King) Syaoran. Will the two warring people come to a truce? Or will something more bloom a little too quickly for the two to understand?  
  
Disclaimer: WAHH!!!! I don't own anything! Not one of these wonderful characters is mine. They belong to the amazing ladies of CLAMP...  
  
~*~  
  
Prologue: The Messenger  
  
~*~  
  
Kinomouto Sakura was one of the most striking blossoms in the kingdom.  
  
But, then again, she would be with her beautiful face. Her skin was lightly tanned and her hair was the color auburn, like the tint of sunlight on the leaves of autumn. Her body was stunning, and was hidden beneath her usual pale pink and jade green kimono.  
  
Her thighs were healthy and her body trimmed. Her bust was noticeable despite the looseness of her traditional dress. But the most captivating part of her appearance was her natural emerald eyes. They were the mirrors to her soul. They captured her youthful innocence or the mature wisdom she held. She was a catch, and every man knew it.  
  
Suitors from far and wide came to this young woman of eighteen, in hopes of coaxing her into marriage with one of them. The teenager was not stupid, though. She was aware of what these men wanted, but refused any and all offers.  
  
She didn't want to get married, yet. She was still young and quite content with her normal life as a first-class nobleman's daughter. And if talking to the men weren't getting them away from her, then Kinomouto Touya would step in.  
  
The twenty-five year old man was none other than her overprotective brother. The dark-haired guy was married to Meiling, a cousin to the royal family. They were expecting their second child soon, and, although he spent a lot of time with his wife, Touya would do everything he could to stop anyone from taking his 'kaijuu'.  
  
Their first child was a girl. Her name was Ling, sort of like Meiling Jr. Their two-year-old child had her father's dark brown hair, but her mother's glinting red eyes. She was so mischievous, running around and causing her parents some serious migraines. She loved her 'Auntie Saku' like a second mother, and was constantly with the older woman.  
  
Their father, Kinomouto Fujitaka, was a respected teacher in the capital city of the kingdom, which was where they lived. He looked out for his children's best interest. Constantly working kept him from his kids, but he loved them. He loved them so much that he hid something from them, something very important.  
  
And it would soon ruin all of their lives...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Good morning, Tomoyo," Sakura said to her dark-haired best friend.  
  
Daidouji Tomoyo was once this girl's name. But she had gotten married just a few months before to a half-bred Japanese English man. His name is Hiriigizawa (spelling?) Eriol. He and Tomoyo were, at first, bitter enemies throughout their childhood. But, once they hit their teenager years, sexual tension and lust got in the way of their squabbles. They decided that a truce would be the only thing that would save them from the other counterpart.  
  
Although the two were civil, they weren't exactly a "normal" type of polite. They insulted each other subtlety and screamed at each other in private. How they fell in love was way beyond Sakura.  
  
She had seen them at their worst. Like the times when Tomoyo poured mud into his hair when he wasn't looking, or Eriol putting a pincher bug down Tomoyo's dress collar when she was eating. They seemed to do everything in their powers to make the other miserable. It was equally funny and scary. Both had faced humiliation at each other's hands.  
  
But, one day, Sakura left them alone for a night, and that was all they needed. They confessed to each other, by accident of course, that they were in love with each other. And the next day, Sakura saw Tomoyo holding Eriol's hand shyly, while he merely grinned as always...  
  
A strange pair they were.  
  
"Hello Sakura-chan," Tomoyo said as the eighteen-year-old woman caught up with her. As Sakura huffed and puffed, Tomoyo chuckled at her friend. She was still as kawaii as ever.  
  
"Well, what are you doing out here, Tomoyo-chan?" Sakura asked, and she looked at the older girl's pale face.  
  
A small blush came across the woman's cheeks and Sakura had to wonder. What was going on? Was something wrong? Sakura could only guess because the next thing she knew Eriol had run up to the two women.  
  
"Konnichiwa Sakura-san," the man with dark cobalt locks said, and she bowed respectfully to him. She looked at him with a glance that said 'what-the- hell-is-wrong-with-your-wife?'  
  
He merely returned it with an 'I-don't-know-you-tell-me' look. He looked at his beloved and noticed she was trying not to look at either of them. Her face was flushed, and her eyes searched for something to settle on. She was twitching around with her fingers. She wasn't sure what she should do with them. She was just so freaked out.  
  
This wasn't like the happy and calm Tomoyo everyone knew and loved. Now she was an anxious and rosy Tomoyo. They wanted to ask her, but they both knew of her recent mood swings and sickness (I bet all of you guys guessed it already). They didn't want to start her up again.  
  
"Tomoyo...?" Eriol asked her, his voice piercing her. She knew he wanted an explanation. This wasn't like her at all.  
  
"Well, I just came from Dr. Mizuki, and I found out that I'm..." Tomoyo trailed off, and both of her companions were in awe. She didn't mean...  
  
"Are you..." Eriol said, and Tomoyo nodded.  
  
"TOMOYO, YOU'RE GONNA DIE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" Sakura yelled/screamed, and the couple fell over. How dense was this girl?  
  
"NO!!!!!!!!!" she screamed, drawing even more attention than before. Sakura immediately started breathing again. Good, she wasn't leaving her...  
  
"Then what's going on?" Sakura asked, her clueless attitude was starting to anger Tomoyo. Eriol held onto his wife, in hopes of calming her down.  
  
"I'm pregnant!!!!!!!" she yelled at the clueless auburn-headed woman. Letting it sink in, Sakura immediately hugged Tomoyo with a squeal. Tomoyo laughed at her friend's giddiness, and then was soon engulfed by her lover's arms. He held her to him and whispered his compliments into her ear.  
  
"That's wonderful you guys! Congratulations!" Sakura said, and the two smiled at her, "I'm going to go tell my father and 'Nii-chan! Tomoyo's gonna have a baby! Bye!"  
  
The lovers watched as their friends skipped back to the road that lead to her home, her bag swinging as she swayed. Her happy aura was glowing around her. As they turned away from the cheerful female, Tomoyo and Eriol began to walk home. They were hoping to be able to say those same things to her one-day. But, they'd wait till then.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Sakura got to the front porch of her home.  
  
Taking off her shoes, she went into the kitchen. Her father was home, as well as her brother. He must have come for a visit. She began to wonder if Mailing and 'Little One' (Ling) was here as well. She would have to see.  
  
She heard voices in the backyard, and she gasped at who was in the back.  
  
There were about five or six soldiers of the Imperial Army out there. Her father and Touya were speaking. She could faintly here what was going on. She had a feeling in the pit of her stomach.  
  
What could the Royal Family want with hers? She needed to know. What the hell was going on?  
  
Using her ears she could just barely hear a soldier's words. He spat out with a quiet rage...  
  
"... Either you pay, or she becomes the Prince's property..."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
AN: Short chapter, I know, but they will get longer. And don't worry. The writing will get better as it goes. My first attempts are usually weak. This is just a little preview. I wanted to make sure you all got a taste of what's to come. The characters will deepen and relationship and friendships will be put on the line...  
  
But, that's later on! I gave too much away.  
  
So, PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!  
  
Chow for now!  
  
Much love,  
  
Adobo-chan^-^ 


	2. Chapter 1: The Debt is Fulfilled

AN: Wow! I can't believe so many people like this fic! I thought it sucked, personally. Well, this chapter will be better, I hope! I'll try to make the chappies longer.  
  
I'm not really sure how this story will go. It's going to get interesting, though. And in this chapter, I decided that she'll get taken away.  
  
I wonder how this will turn out...  
  
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine... STOP MOCKING ME!!!!!!  
  
~*~  
  
Chapter 1: The Debt is Fulfilled  
  
~*~  
  
"How could you, Papa?!" Sakura yelled, her eyes watering at the turn of events. She had been so happy on her way home. Saku was all ready to announce Tomoyo's pregnancy, and how excited she, Tomoyo and Eriol were. But now she had to deal with something that was *not* her problem.  
  
"I'm sorry, Sakura-chan, but it cannot be helped. I asked for this loan when I barely married to your mother," Fujitaka explained, but his daughter merely shook her head. Her bright green eyes were glazed with tears, and little droplets leaked from her gorgeous eyes. Why was her life now on the line because of something that ensued before she was born?  
  
"Father, what happened? What possessed you do loan money from... them...?" Touya said, a glare coming over his features. He may have served the Li's as a soldier and guard, but that didn't mean he liked them. He did it because he needed a good job to support his family, and this one paid well.  
  
"Your mother and I had just gotten married, and we were broke. We had nowhere to turn to. I was marrying a third-class woman, and my parents didn't approve. There was also the fact that her family couldn't give us anything..." Fujitaka sighed as he thought of his wife.  
  
He missed her, even though she had gone to another world, he still loved the angel that watches him from above. And now, here he was, trying to explain what had just occurred years ago.  
  
Trying to give his children the reason for an old debt to the impassive Li family...  
  
"Anyway, I asked Queen Yelan for a loan. She consented, and I got the money. But, it seems that she wants the balance now. We have only a fraction of what I owe her. So, she asked for, instead of the money I owed..." he trailed off, and his children knew the rest. The Queen wanted Sakura, as a present for her prized son, the heartless Prince Syaoran...  
  
The young Prince's reputation was well known. He was about twenty, and needed a wife by twenty-one, to claim the throne. Although he was said to be a god-like handsome (a lot of gossip from Meiling and stuff around the village), his personality was ice-cold. He was also in line for the throne, and people predicted him to be a harsh ruler.  
  
His older sisters, who were already married, could not get the position as leader, their inability being because of their late father. He had said only his son may receive the position that was once his. The old king was a cold, but fair ruler. Though that didn't mean he was liked anymore than most men. They expected his son would be the same.  
  
Li Syaoran was said to be a pitiless bastard. He killed, merely for the fun of it, and was prideful bastard. He would never let another man beat him in combat, so no one would dare go against him. Many feared for their lives, and they should. He was merely a reflection of his father...  
  
"Papa, please... I beg of you! Don't let him take me from here..." Sakura said, her eyes were blood-shot and she had paled considerably.  
  
"I'm sorry, my daughter, but I can't do anything. I'm afraid..." but Fujitaka could no longer continue. He had lost his wife, the love that comes only once in a lifetime, and now his sunshine-filled daughter was being taken as well. He had the devil's luck!  
  
Sakura didn't stand there any longer. She shot up from her seat, and ran to her room.  
  
She didn't want to have to deal with this! But she would have to.  
  
She was only a teenager. Okay, so she was a young adult, but that didn't mean anything. She knew she'd never last without her father or brother, and of course Ling and Meiling! Then there was always her life-long friends, the Hiriigizawa's.  
  
What did she do to deserve such a cruel fate?  
  
Upon reaching her room, Sakura ran to her bed. She slammed her door, and buried her face in her silk pillow. She cried her tears, and her heart ached as she released her heart onto the cushion. There was a breaking point, and she had reached hers.  
  
As she breathed into her pillow, she could smell the salt from her tears.  
  
She knew Tomoyo would be the same. Crying her eyes, and then Sakura would follow. They'd dry their eyes, but the tears would flood them, their emotions being released through such a weak action. But they were upset, and their feelings needed a way to leave their troubled minds.  
  
Eriol would surely be angry. Sakura was like his little sister. He would probably let out a string of curses and reduce the kingdom's royal family to nothing. He'd degrade them in his head, but remain eerily silent. You could tell all of this by just looking at him. He would easily become upset. His eyes told all.  
  
Meiling would confront her Auntie Yelan (the Queen) but she knew she'd never dissuade the older woman. Yelan was a sweeter ruler than her husband, but just as determined. If she wanted something, she'd have it. That was who she was.  
  
Ling would clutch onto her dear Auntie Saku, but would never keep her tears from falling. She would sob onto her Auntie, and then fall asleep, her body being drained. She loved her Auntie Saku too much for her to be taken, but the young girl would never be able to stop her Great-Aunt Yelan.  
  
Sakura laid in her bed, running over every detail of her life. She had lived well, but that did not mean she was spoiled. Quite the contrary, Sakura loved to help out her family. She was such a good person, and everyone knew of her kindness.  
  
As sleep overcame her emotion-drained body, one question was still in her head...  
  
What good would she be to Prince Syaoran...?  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Two days have passed since the message was sent to the Kinomouto's.  
  
Everyone lived in paranoia. No one was sure when the soldiers would come to get their "payment" for the old credit. Each person, whether it be Sakura or her father, were afraid to get up in the morning. They didn't want that day to be the one when their cherry blossom would leave.  
  
Everyone had reacted violently to the idea of their Saku being taken away. And it was exactly as Sakura had predicted.  
  
Tomoyo and Ling cried, their eyes becoming swollen and their skin lost its natural color. Meiling was throwing a fit, ready to march up to her Auntie, whom she loved and respected. But this young woman was ready to give Auntie Yelan a piece of her mind. Eriol lurked in the shadows; his eyes were a blue fire. They lashed at the very mention of the Li family.  
  
You could tell that it was not a very good day to be a 'Li'.  
  
A week had passed since the message was delivered, and everyone was starting to get anxious. They had to wait for this great travesty to happen, but they were becoming impatient. These people needed someone to take out all their frustration on!!!!  
  
But, on the ninth day, their accursed prayers were answered...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
By mid-afternoon, everyone was at the Hiriigizawa's. It was Tomoyo-chan' baby shower.  
  
The decided to hold it early because they weren't sure how long Sakura would be able to stay. They forgot about their troubles for that short time, and traded it for an ignorant bliss.  
  
Tomoyo's stomach had grown noticeably, due to her small waist in the first place. She was having a few mood swings here and there, but nothing too bad.  
  
Her morning sickness did not help her, though. She was sickened at the sight of food, and was trying so hard not to puke on anyone standing nearby.  
  
Touya, Eriol and Fujitaka spoke of intelligent things (I know! Big shock!). They ranted on about the different kingdoms and how each of them was doing in this modern time.  
  
Although this place had a less industrial living, as other cities had, it was still more than the old prehistoric age that many know of.  
  
Ling played with her mother and her Auntie Sakura. They ran across the backyard, and played tag. A childish affair, but it was relaxing. It was nice to just run and forget everything. And that's what they were trying to do. Forget what was soon coming.  
  
As Sakura laughed with her niece, she immediately stopped when she heard a noise.  
  
Turning quickly, she saw a horse-drawn carriage pull its way up to the front of the Hiriigizawa's home. Meiling and Ling followed her gaze, and gasped.  
  
There was the emblem of the royal crest on the door of the coach. It had a large white wolf on it, its teeth bared. It's fur shined due to the bright sun in the background. Behind the wolf was a sword, showing everyone of the strength of the sign.  
  
The driver left his seat to open the door. By now, everyone was staring at the stagecoach.  
  
Touya had his hands at his sides, his fists clenching the sides of his pants. He glared at whoever was about to exit the horse and wagon. All the while, Eriol kept his gaze cool, but inside he was trying not to swear that driver and whoever was in the coach to go the hell away.  
  
Everyone else had scared looks on their faces. Tomoyo was near tears, probably because of her pregnancy. Meiling clutched her husbands hand, and stared at who was about to come onto the Hiriigizawa's property. Ling grasped her Auntie Sakura's hand, her eyes glaring softly at whoever was trying to take her Auntie Saku.  
  
Fujitaka stared defiantly at the obviously royal newcomer. He would not let these people take his blossom away without a fight. He was powerless against his wife's disease, but he could still protect his Sakura-chan. At least, he hoped he could...  
  
Sakura hid behind her father, fear filtering into her body. She was scared, but that didn't mean she was going to just leave. Her pride was on the line, as well as her very freedom. She couldn't let that be taken away from her. But the situation seemed so helpless. She had no idea about what she could do. Her future was dim, and her fortune was low.  
  
When the carriage door opened, out stepped a beautiful woman.  
  
She had the darkest hair, as black as the night sky. Her eyes were the same, a chilling russet color. She wore a silk robe, which was obviously made solely for royalty. It was a deep blood red, and the border of the dress was an emerald green. Her face was calm, almost callous, as she stared at the families with a cool look. She remained impassive to the hatred that flowed from their auras.  
  
"Well, Kinomouto-san, do you have the payment?" the woman asked, but he didn't answer. Instead, Meiling spoke up.  
  
"Please, Aunt Yelan, I beg of you. Don't take Sakura-chan. She's my family too!" Meiling cried out, but the Queen paid her no heed. She merely looked over at the emerald-eyed girl.  
  
Knowing that eyes were on her, Sakura cowered beneath the older female's gaze. She wanted to speak up, but she couldn't. Queen Yelan had this intimidating gaze, and it reminded her of a general in the army. No compassion whatsoever.  
  
"Please, Queen Yelan. Take me instead. My daughter does not deserve such punishment," Fujitaka tried to reason, but she simply shook her head.  
  
"Kinomouto-san, I'm sorry, but this was not my decision. My son asked for your daughter... personally," was the woman's reply, and everyone was in awe, especially Meiling.  
  
"What would Xiao Lang want with Sakura, Auntie?" the queen's niece asked, and a small smile graced Yelan's lips. You could tell that she knew something that everyone else didn't.  
  
"That's not my place to say. But I was just as surprised as you all are," Queen Yelan said, and motioned for the eighteen-year-old girl to follow her.  
  
Sakura didn't want to, but she had this compelling feeling to follow the older woman. She wanted to meet this Xiao Lang person. She had no idea why, but Sakura walked behind the queen. In a trance-like tread, Sakura sauntered after the women. Even despite her father's pulling, she hauled her way toward the carriage.  
  
She turned back towards her family and friends' faces, and she saw the looks they each held.  
  
Everyone was crescent fallen, but they had this endearing respect in their eyes. They didn't fight anymore because they couldn't win. Not against the royal family, no matter how hard they tried. That was just how it worked. You just can't compete against them.  
  
As she lifted herself in the wagon, she smiled softly at her loved ones. Her eyes glazed over as she watched them wave and the coach rattled across the dirt road.  
  
As she rode away, her tears slipped past her eyelids, and felt a comforting hand on her shoulder. Looking up, she saw Queen Yelan give her a sympathetic smile. What made her break down was a mystery to her.  
  
As she placed her head on the woman's shoulder, she let her longing for home go, and embraced her new destiny...  
  
What it was, though, was an enigma to everyone...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
AN: Hey people! There you go, my first chapter. Well I hope you join me on my next part. I have no idea where this story is going, but it's doing pretty well. This story will be my best, I think.  
  
Well, chow for now!  
  
Much love,  
  
Adobo-chan^-^ 


	3. Chapter 2: Prince Syaoran

AN: ALL RIGHT!!!! The next chappie is here, and I know I'm psyched to hear from you guys. For my first S/S fic, I thought people would hate it. Guess not because people seemed to really enjoy reading this sad excuse for a fanfic. So... I hope you all decide to stick around and REVIEW!!!!!  
  
Oh, and people, I'm going to be busy for a LONG while (till summer vacation), so updating will be rare. I'm sorry! I have many other stories that need to be tended to. They're being neglected because I've been working harder on this fic then any other. So I'll TRY to keep updating consistent.  
  
Disclaimer: Look! A birdie!!!  
  
REAL Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot! DON'T SUE!!! (You guys wouldn't get crap, anyway. I'm broke!!!)  
  
SxSxSx  
  
Chapter 2: Prince Syaoran  
  
SxSxSx  
  
Clouds of dust spiraled behind the carriage, as it made its way across the dirt road. The wheels on the wagon continued on its path, towards the Palace, only a few miles off. The horses' tread was a continuous one, their shoes clacking against the path. The driver whistled merrily, blissfully thinking of his family at home.  
  
The horse-drawn buggy was large, and two people sat within its confines. One was of royalty, and the other of nobility.  
  
"Please, Sakura-san, don't look so upset. I promise to make your stay as comfortable as possible," Queen Yelan said, watching the young woman with sad eyes. Sakura looked up at the older woman, and tried not to let her attitude become even more depressed. She was supposed to be a positive and cheerful individual, not a dark and gloomy rain cloud over people's heads.  
  
"I'm sorry, your Majesty, but I can't help it. I-I..." but Sakura never finished. She couldn't even begin to think of what life would be like now, without her family to protect her.  
  
Yelan merely nodded as she looked at the heart-broken girl in front of her. She could do nothing to stop the younger woman's fears or her imagination from getting to that pretty little head of hers. She knew what others said of her son, but most of it wasn't true.  
  
He was cold and unfeeling, yes, but it was rare when he killed, even if there was a good reason. It was even more rare when he hurt a person. People thought he was a monster because he COULD kill quite easily, softly but swiftly. People feared him because he had some close calls with nearly beating men to death during a spar.  
  
"Xiao Lang isn't what you think," Yelan said, her regal voice breaking Sakura's stupor. The undecided look in her eyes made Yelan continue.  
  
"Yes, he is cruel and a bit of a bastard (can you imagine you mother saying that about you?), but he is kind, in his own way. He has a heart, it's just surrounded by ice, to protect him."  
  
"Why is he said to be so sadistic? Has he always been so cruel to his soldiers and servants?" Sakura asked. It was like a silent plea for help. She wanted the other female to ease her mind and say everything was going to be okay. But Yelan wouldn't, because not even she knew if everything was going to be all right.  
  
"My Xiao Lang is harsh sometimes, but that's only because he's been hurt. When you're hurt, you don't like it when others try to pity you, especially not a prideful prince like him," Yelan replied, and she could see Sakura contemplating what she had said.  
  
"Why?" Sakura asked, and Yelan gave her a questioning glance.  
  
"Why was he hurt? HOW was he hurt?" Sakura questioned again, and she felt herself move forward slightly, as the carriage began to slow down. The horses' running was now a patient crawl across the bridge, leading into the castle.  
  
When the carriage stopped abruptly, the door opened, and a hand was held out for the Queen and her accomplice. As Yelan was about to walk out of the carriage, she murmured in her royal voice:  
  
"I can't tell you that."  
  
As soon as she stepped out, Sakura's eyes followed Yelan out and quickly chased after her. She took the hand that was held out. She clambered after the beautiful Queen, who walked a leisurely pace across the stone path. Sakura could only gawk at the striking castle that awaited them.  
  
The white palace was made of a rare and precious stone, and this place was made purely of it. The stone was as white as ivory, but it lasted over centuries and was much more valuable than the other substance. It lined the walls of the castle, snaking around its towers like vines. The door was made of oak, and stood a good twenty-feet high. There were numerous towers. Some could barely be seen from the outside wall, while others looked as if they'd reach to heaven.  
  
The land of the estate was amazing. The green vegetation surrounded the palace and framed the castle like a casing. There were the beautiful tulips, roses, carnations and many other flowers there. They covered the ground with a rainbow of color, exploding from the petals and leaves. The most common trees found were the red Japanese maple and cherry blossom trees. The beauty of the plants chimed out through the earth, contrasting with the baby blue of the endless sky.  
  
Servants clambered across the green courtyard, their duties never done. They bowed to their Queen Yelan and her guest. Many eyes followed the attractive green-eyed girl, wondering who she was. Guards bent to the Queen and her noblewoman friend that scurried behind her.  
  
As she walked, head bowed down, Sakura knew many were watching her. They reached the courtroom and an announcer yelled the presence of their Majesty.  
  
The graceful walk that Queen Yelan had was a glide across ice, while Sakura tried desperately not to make a fool of herself in court. It was her first time to be in a room with so many nobles. She didn't want to give then a bad impression of her and her lineage.  
  
Sakura watched as the beautiful Queen sat upon her throne on the opposite side of the room. The eighteen-year-old girl merely looked at her monarch that stood before her. Her eyes pleaded for an explanation of what to do.  
  
Sensing the younger girl's nervousness, Queen Yelan commanded that everyone would leave the room.  
  
Although surprised, the nobles walked out quietly, a bit of spite aimed towards Sakura because of her privilege to stay in the Queen's presence. Women glared at Sakura's youthful beauty, which had captured everyone's attention. The men gave Sakura a once over, maybe more, and their lustful glances landed on every curve of her body.  
  
Uncomfortable under all of their stares, Sakura visibly squirmed beneath their gazes. She approached the throne as the room emptied, and looked up at her sovereign.  
  
"Summon my son," Yelan barked, and soon a guard left the large, majestic room in search of the Crown Prince. Now there was only Yelan and Sakura. The younger girl was shifting uncomfortably on her feet. She kept swaying back and forth, her anxiety obvious to anyone who saw her.  
  
"Please calm down, Sakura-san. You mustn't fear my son. He isn't the monster people call him," Yelan commented, noting her guest's discomfort. Sakura's powerful pink aura held uncertainty as she waited for Prince Syaoran to come.  
  
Without warning, the large timber doors squeaked open, a new arrival stepping into the light of the chandeliers that were seen above. Sakura held her breath, and watched as the figure's form stepped in. Her heart was thumping against her breast, unsure if she should run, or try and not fall to the ground because of her trembling knees.  
  
She went with the latter, since she could not move her legs even if she tried. Her fear had enveloped her and was suffocating her body. She couldn't help but feel intimidated as she felt the unique existence of the respected and terrible Li Syaoran.  
  
Hard eyes met the dark jade orbs that were Sakura's. She couldn't help but be slightly drawn to the beauty of the eyes that held her gaze, attracting her to whoever was on the other end. This couldn't be Syaoran, could it? The man that was said to be evil and cruel couldn't have such gorgeous orbs on his face.  
  
"Xiao Lang, I'm glad you decided to come out of the training area and see the living," Yelan's voice was sharp as she gave her son a light glare.  
  
The people of her city weren't lying. Prince Syaoran was as handsome as they said, even more so, if possible.  
  
The man that appeared in front of Sakura looked only twenty. His hair was a dark chocolate, messily falling over his eyes and framing his beautiful face. His skin was tan, probably from working out in the sun for hours at a time. His body was lean with muscle, thanks to his training as a Prince. It was hidden beneath a dark green Tee shirt, hugging his firm form, outlining his muscle seductively.  
  
His face was hard, no emotion survived on it. His lips were a constant line. They never smiled nor frowned. His shining coffee eyes were narrowed slightly, giving everyone a look that was meant to scare. And it did its job well.  
  
Knowing she was staring, Sakura quickly averted her gaze to the ground. A small blush graced her cheeks when she noticed that Syaoran was looking over his new... What was she supposed to be again?  
  
"Well? What do you think of Sakura-san, Xiao Lang?" Yelan asked her son, watching as his eyes glowed a little in appreciation. Syaoran enjoyed his new 'gift'...  
  
"She's stunning..." a low murmur escaped Syaoran's lips, and he knew that his mother had heard it. Observing her flush deepen, Syaoran knew that Sakura had heard it too. He couldn't help but be somewhat self-satisfied.  
  
"Well... I'm glad you're not displeased, my son, but there are some ground rules that must be followed," Yelan said, her eyes staring at the Prince. Snapping out of his attentive examining, he gazed up at his mother. He was curious as to why he needed rules for his knew servant.  
  
"As you know, Sakura is not just anyone you can boss around like your other slaves. She is still nobility and should have some kind of respect," Queen Yelan began, and he nodded towards her, "She will do what she is told, but you cannot force her to do anything that does not make any sense. Nor can you compel her to do something she's not ready for..."  
  
The last sentence was a threat. Basically, Queen Yelan was saying, 'You can't force her to be your personal whore.' She knew that her son had a habit of having beautiful women in his bed, but that would not be Sakura's fate. Yelan had promised her that nothing bad would happen to her, and she meant it.  
  
Nodding, Syaoran bowed to his mother. When he looked over at Sakura, she coyly arched her back and stared at the older woman for reassurance. A small smile was her reward, telling her everything would be all right.  
  
Returning her grin, Sakura felt a little better. She had the Queen's word for insurance. She would survive this. She'd keep living for her family and friends, who waited for Sakura's return. Until she saw them once more, Sakura would hold onto whatever little hope she had.  
  
Turning on his heel, Syaoran beckoned the young noble to follow him. Sakura flashed Yelan a bright smile, and the Queen returned it with her own. Perhaps this girl could be the one that would finally heal her little boy. Who knows?  
  
SxSxSx  
  
Walking down a well-lit corridor, Sakura treaded behind Prince Syaoran. She never spoke; she was too afraid that she would sound like an idiot. Not once had Sakura ever been near royalty.  
  
Stopping, Sakura almost collided with the Prince's strong back. Syaoran had stopped so quickly that she had thought he was still walking.  
  
Looking up from the ground, Sakura looked at the door that they had stopped at. Actually they were two large, white double doors. They had gold hinges, and she couldn't help but guess that this was Syaoran's room.  
  
"Sakura-san?" a deep voice called, and she knew she was flushed again. How did he always manage to do that to her!?  
  
"Hai, Li-sama?" her meek voice surprised her. Of course she was shy, but not this much. She just couldn't stop blushing when she was around him. Usually her voice was strong with authority, even in the presence of powerful men like him. But she was still incredible bashful around this man. Was she ill?  
  
"Please do not be so scared, Sakura-san. I am nothing of what others say I am. Please, do not fear me," his cold voice said, and he turned to face his servant.  
  
"I assure you, Li-sama, I am not afraid of you," was her reply, and she met his eyes with a fiery determination. Thinking about being so different towards this man scared Sakura. So she knew that she would have to treat him like other men. With a haughtiness that left them scowling.  
  
But, surprisingly, Syaoran wasn't glaring or looking angry. He merely stared at her with those depthless amber eyes. He wasn't happy or sad. Never was he irritated or tranquil. He was merely a rock in a pond, daunted only by time. Crumbling over thousands of years.  
  
With a nod, Syaoran opened the door to his chambers, letting Sakura in first. She bowed to him, more out of habit than respect, and looked around the room. Gasping, she couldn't help but notice the grandness of the room. His canopy bed rested on one side, along with drawers on either side. A coffee table was located in the center of the room, in addition to a couch and loveseat to accompany it. A closet was located on the other side, along with a door to an adjoined bathroom.  
  
Near the bed, there was another door, and Syaoran led her to it. Sakura had a feeling that this was her new living quarters. Opening the door, Syaoran motioned for Sakura to follow. She treaded warily, not sure of herself.  
  
The room was almost exactly like her Prince's, just smaller. She would have to look around to finally get a feel of it.  
  
"I hope this fulfill your needs, Sakura-san," said a voice that snapped her out of her reverie. She knew the cool Prince was leaning in the doorway of her room, observing his servant.  
  
She was truly poetry in motion, with her timid awe, confident spirit and emotions that played in her eyes. She was quite fascinating to watch because of the innocence that had overcome her entire being, contrasted with her passion of life.  
  
As Syaoran was about to leave, a voice called him back.  
  
"Li-sama, what is it you wish from me?" Sakura needed to know. She wouldn't be left in suspense any longer. She had the right to know her fate, since she was the one who had to go around not knowing what the hell was going on.  
  
Syaoran smirked slightly. This could be fun...  
  
"Well, Sakura-san, you are to be anything I wish for you to be," he said, his feet carrying him over to Sakura. She was starting at a picture of landscape, never noticing Syaoran's approaching form or the twinkle of lusty mischief in his eyes.  
  
"I could wish for you to be my slave girl, servant, escort, even my... mistress..." his voice trailed, as his arms wrapped around her shoulders. She stiffened against this new sensation, and fought her way out of his arms. But she was held steadfast, Syaoran's grip never faltering.  
  
"Your highness..." Sakura pleaded, her helplessness evident. She found herself being turned to face half-satisfied and half-conseited eyes, watching her terrified ones.  
  
Before she could utter another word, soft lips came crashing down onto hers. Surprised, Sakura thrashed against the Prince, fighting with a desperation she never knew she could possess. She placed her hands on his chest, trying to stop his sudden attack. She pushed in opposition of him, trying to get him to leave her alone.  
  
"Don't fight it..." he murmured softly, pressing her back into the wall. Knowing that she couldn't win against him, she succumbed to the both sweet and sour position she was in.  
  
Her hands felt their way into his soft russet locks, holding his head in place. She was surprised at his attentive and gentle kiss. Sakura expected him to be rough, like many men were when it came to a woman. One of Syaoran's hands rested heavily against the wall, and the other on her hip.  
  
'He obviously knows what he's doing,' Sakura thought, as she felt his lips part and force her mouth open as well. His tongue entered hers, and she almost cried out in shock. This was her first time doing this, and she wasn't sure if she could keep up. She was shy and ignorant in the art of desire.  
  
Frustrated with her unwillingness to commit to her instincts, he drew out her tongue with is own, coaxing her into a dance. The battle of dominance was soon accepted, when he felt Sakura answer his call. Pressing her into the wall a bit more, he pushed himself against her. This feeling of yearning was getting to him. He wanted this woman in his bed, if only for a night...  
  
No.  
  
Not yet. When she was ready to fully accept her fate as his forever, then he would take her. He would break this girl so she would remain with him, as his and his only.  
  
Pulling away, Syaoran observed his new little servant. She was breathing hard, her eyes hazy and unfocused. It was easy to see that she had never had such sexual orientation with anyone. She was too innocent to know true pleasure, and he knew that he would be the one to give it to her.  
  
Bringing his face to her ear, he whispered in an aching voice, "From you reaction, I don't think it would be very hard to place you as my mistress. But, not yet..."  
  
To emphasis his point, Prince Syaoran licked her ear, causing a shiver to course through Sakura's body.  
  
Pulling away from his little minx, Syaoran kissed her forehead tenderly before walking away and into his separate room. With an egotistical wink, he closed their door, a soft click finalizing their little moment.  
  
Watching the door close, Sakura's knees gave way. She fell to the ground, sliding against the white barrier of the wall. She stared at the ground, her eyes wide. She was shell-shocked. Not only was she taken from her family, given to the Crown Prince, forced to live in the palace and seduced by his highness, she...  
  
Guiltily enjoyed it...  
  
'While my family is worried sick, no less,' Sakura thought, shaking her head in disbelief. Not only was she ashamed, but stunned to know that she had liked what had happened to her. But how could she?! She had thrown many men out the door, even with their attempts to get her to submit to their whims.  
  
But she never cared.  
  
Now, here she was, having let Prince Syaoran get to her. He had passed her 'No Men' zone, and was now very much into having her for himself. That selfish, chauvinistic, arrogant bastard!!!!  
  
"I won't let him get to me," Sakura whispered, her promise evident, "I won't..."  
  
But like everything else in the world, promises can shatter too.  
  
How is Sakura going to fight with a man who owned her and desired her?  
  
But more importantly, is Sakura fighting a battle that she's already lost?  
  
SxSxSx  
  
AN: WOOHOO!!!! Longest chapter for this story! I hope you all enjoyed this chappie. This one was a bit... fluffier than my others and a little sexual tension to add on top. What an interesting little sundae of a story. I hope you all REVIEW!!!!  
  
Oh, and to those who I scared in my last chapter, I do have a plot. I just don't know if I'll carry it out. I get bored when no one encourages me. So... I hope you guys don't want me to quit. I'd be so sad!!!! I love what you guys say about my writing and I thank you all for the love you send!!!!  
  
A basic rundown of what will happen in the next couple chapters: Sakura and Syaoran have been "getting along." Well, as best they can. With an insatiable desire that can't be filled, Syaoran lives for the moments when Sakura gives in to him. Sakura, on the other hand, tries her best to deny him. But it's not that easy when a man who lusts after you, knows you want him too! What is Sakura supposed to do?  
  
This isn't all of it. There will be quite a bit of jealousy and heartbreak. This is DRAMA after all, but that's later. I hope you all REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Much love,  
  
Adobo-chan 


	4. Chapter 3: Having Tea

AN: What's up people? I'm glad that you guys are enjoying this fic. I have to say, this is probably my most popular fic. I enjoy writing this one because it's so unlike my other stuff. This one is of ancient times and a bit more angsty. I hope it'll go far as a fic. Personally, I don't care for it much, but you all like it, so I'm going to continue. THANKS FOR EVERYTHING, GUYS!!!!!!!!!  
  
And I'M SORRY!!!! This fic is so late because I didn't feel like writing. I'm not going to lie. I just haven't been very into my muse. I don't have anymore drive to write. I hope to get back into it, but I just can't seem to find inspiration. Maybe some music will help...  
  
Oh, and my spelling might be off. I mean, with Syaoran's sisters. Please correct me if I'm wrong. Thanks!!!  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. The plot is mine, though.  
  
SxSxSx  
  
Chapter 3: Having Tea  
  
SxSxSx  
  
As much as Sakura hated the idea, she found working with Prince Syaoran fairly pleasant. She would see him everyday, yes, but not the ENTIRE day. That was what she enjoyed. Only having to be around him for moments at a time, and then having the rest of the day to hang out and meet new people.  
  
She was surprised to find out that the servants of the castle were happy. They didn't suffer like so many other people said they did. In fact, quite a few people worked in the castle, not because they had to, but to help their king and queen. It seemed that many felt they were indebted to the people who ruled them.  
  
'Definitely different than what I predicted,' Sakura thought, as she lazed around the gardens of the castle.  
  
From what she had gathered from Touya, Meiling and Tomoyo, most people worked there to pay off a balance or merely for employment. None of them knew that many people enjoyed what they did. The entire kingdom probably thought that the servants were enslaved, when in all actuality, they were content with what they did for their sovereigns.  
  
But, then again, no one had ever decided to ask what the servants did and how they felt. People merely assumed what they thought, and therefore belittled what their opinions were.  
  
And when she finally met the Royal Li Family, she was not surprised why the servants were so eager to please. Yelan was quite kind, once there was no one around. She would smile and laugh with her subjects. She wasn't so high and proud when everyone expected her to be. She was a very down to earth person, once the spotlights were off her and the moon could finally shine.  
  
Then there were the Li sisters. Sakura couldn't help but smile in remembrance. All four were older than Syaoran, and had many children running about their feet. It had been hard, but she had memorized each name for each face. But they all looked so similar, they might as well have been quadruplets.  
  
Seifa was the oldest, with several tykes buzzing in circles around each other. But Sakura couldn't remember who went in order. She knew that Fanren and Fuutie were of similar age, but then there was Feimei. She had no idea where each child stood in the range of birth, but she knew they were all busy, running a household and trying to keep many children from falling out of trees and annoying neighbors.  
  
And through all this, they were still happy and cheerful. None of them seemed to ever be gloomy. There was also the fact that they enjoyed torturing their "favorite little brother" with past humiliation. Which led to lots of arguments of four against one, and ended with Yelan forcing everyone to retreat to their beds for the night.  
  
Yes, this place was turning out to be quite the home. But, despite the ruckus, this place was so tranquil without anyone bothering them. She found herself at peace here, sometimes even more than when she was at her quarters back in town.  
  
But today wouldn't be so pleasant. She had afternoon tea with... him...  
  
Just for the record, this was NOT her favorite way to spend her time. She'd rather eat bugs with a side dish of mud, but this was an order. He wanted to them to "get to know each other better."  
  
As if! In her mind, Sakura knew what Syaoran wanted. The little pervert!!! She didn't care if he was supposed to be the king of her home. Her future and her children's future looked bleak at her point of view. If this idiot was their leader then she was going to need to move far, FAR away.  
  
Taking her time, Sakura passed the azaleas and roses with a smile. She inhaled their heavenly fragrance, obviously not too concerned with being late. She wanted to stay in the garden, away from her "Master." She would much rather plant and water the flora life, instead of obeying the Prince's every whim.  
  
She couldn't help but stop by the fountain and finger the water lilies. They floated, without a care, making Sakura jealous of their freedom. Unlike her, they merely laid in the water, basking in the sun, content with their life. For this kind of liberty, she would give almost anything for it.  
  
But she was so busy staring at the flowers in the water that she never saw the soft amber eyes watching her. They were so relaxed; it was like a completely different person looking at her. The light brown pools were happy watching the peaceful young teen below him.  
  
Prince Syaoran was perched in a tree, watching the young woman with a smile that had, somehow, gotten onto his face without his permission. He jumped silently, swiftly, and approached the eighteen-year-old girl. As she stared at the crystalline water, his reflection appeared behind her.  
  
Jumping up, she turned to face a softly smiling man. Raising a brow, she was wondering something silently.  
  
Who was this? The Syaoran she knew would never smile. Only frown or smirk. And why did he look so at ease when he was usually as stiff as a soldier? Plus, why was the small grin pointed at her? Usually he scowled evilly or leered viciously.  
  
"Come Sakura-san. Tea is ready," Syaoran said, turning his back to the woman. She was still stunned as she followed, her eyes glued to his back.  
  
Okay... Something was wrong. Yesterday, he wasn't all that happy to meet her, and vice versa. Then he acted like a pompous maniac and kissed her, making her confused and somehow disappointed. Now he was being sweet and, oddly, quiet, leaving her kind of happy that he was pleased too. Goodness, this man had more mood swings than Meiling during pregnancy!  
  
A small clearing came into view, and in it was a small table with two cushions to sit on. A small teapot and two cups were set delicately upon the wooden surface. The beautiful china was white with small blossoms on vines, which tangled with one another along the borders of the porcelain.  
  
Syaoran took his seat on one side, and Sakura on the other. She stared at the table, while Syaoran poured the tea. Sakura took the pot with her own fingers, but quickly put it down. She hissed when she felt the hot temperature of pot singe her finger.  
  
Syaoran gave her a hopeless look, and watched as she blew on her finger and waved it around in the air, desperately trying to cool it. Sighing, the young Prince took the teen's finger with his hand. Sakura watched with curiosity, looking at the man who held her right hand. She never expected what he did next.  
  
He placed the finger close to his lips, and his tongue came in contact with the skin of Sakura's finger. A blush crawled up her neck, and was soon on her face. Her eyes widened as Syaoran's tongue worked to relieve the pain in the young girl's finger.  
  
Pulling the forefinger away, Sakura looked down at her lap. Syaoran watched with concealed amusement, watching the young girl squirm. She was uncomfortable, which, for some strange reason, brought a small smile to his lips. It was fun scaring her.  
  
"Sakura-san, please don't tell me you're not at ease? I'm sorry if my action was a bit... uncalled for, but you didn't appear to be happy with a burnt finger," Prince Syaoran said, with some real sincerity. But he was being a bit sarcastic too, which was what Sakura noticed.  
  
"Xiao Lang. I'm sorry, but, for your information, I can take care of myself. Don't take me so lightly," she said, her small glare darkening. She didn't hate being the joke. She could deal with it, most of the time. But when he was laughing, she felt even more humiliated.  
  
"Sakura-san, don't worry. I do not doubt the fact that you're capable of fending for yourself. I merely wished to help," the young man said, his cocky smile widening. He was enjoying this, much more than he would admit to anyone.  
  
"Look, my Prince," she sarcastically stated, "You wanted to get to know me, and I do want to know a few things about you. So let's make this as quick and painless as possible."  
  
Flipping her hair, Sakura watched the older man with narrowed eyes. A small smile touched his lips, the serenity of the gesture making its way to his face.  
  
"All right, Sakura-san," he said, sipping his tea softly, before placing it back onto the table, "Then, tell me, what interests you?"  
  
Glaring still, Sakura sipped the tea she had just poured. Placing it down onto the table, she responded, "Well, I love flowers, as you can tell. My whole family was named after flowers, so I've always enjoyed being surrounded by blossoms. And what I like to do... basically, anything active. I hate sitting around and doing nothing. I'd rather be outside."  
  
She said a few more things, like caring for children and animals and learning, before noticing she was ranting. Sakura turned her attention to her Prince. She was expecting a bored and nonchalant expression. Instead, his face was interested and piqued with an innocent curiosity. His eyes shone wonderingly, even a bit dreamily...  
  
"Well, Sakura-san, perhaps I should make you my gardener. You'd probably look forward to it, more than being my servant, at least," Syaoran said, his smile never wavering.  
  
Now, this was strange. He wasn't this sweet or sincere, ever. So Sakura couldn't help but be taken aback. She thought Syaoran didn't know a thing about her or his people. When, in all actuality, he was very perceptive and took things in quite easily and quickly.  
  
Sakura could only nod at his proposition, a faint flush of embarrassment gracing her cheeks. Why did she always seem to do that when he was around?  
  
She was used to handsome men. Many rich and powerful ones came, trying to knock her door down, asking for marriage. She was well admired, and she knew it. Even when she had to meet them, Sakura held her cool throughout everything. It was completely normal for her. She was even given the nickname "Ice Goddess" by men because of her passive attitude towards them.  
  
"Well, Xiao Lang," she recovered, clearing her throat to calm her nerves, "Tell me a few things about you. Like, why does everyone say you're such a bastard, when sometimes you're even human?"  
  
Chuckling, Syaoran took a sip of his tea and smiled softly at her again. The red in her cheeks grew once more, and she looked down at her cup as he spoke.  
  
"People tend to exaggerate," he said slowly, choosing his words carefully. He didn't want to seem too cruel, nor sugary sweet, "I can be cruel, but people always expect me to be. I live up to their expectations and variations of me, and it's rare when someone sees me like this. You should feel honored."  
  
And then came in the arrogant attitude, which made Sakura glare at him. He really needed to learn how to be humble. Maybe he'd be more attracting to women, not that he needed anymore. He had almost every female in the kingdom at his very whim.  
  
'What is this...?' she couldn't help but ask herself. Why was there something bubbling inside her? And why was it painful? Just the thought that another woman would hang off his arm gave Sakura the strongest waves of resentment. Was this... jealousy?  
  
"NO WAY!!!!" Sakura thought aloud, her voice making Syaoran choke on his tea. She knew that she could get defensive about something, anything really, but be... JEALOUS?! Over that idiot of a prince? Not possible...  
  
"Sakura-san," Syaoran recovered, looking at her strangely. He knew she was weird, but this was ridiculous. Was she trying to kill him with his own tea? That seemed to be stupid, but something he was sure she could do.  
  
"Please. Is everything all right? I didn't expect such an outburst, especially from a noblewoman like you. May I help you at all?"  
  
Looking at his face, Sakura's blush graced her cheeks again. This was becoming an old and crude habit. At first, she thought HE was annoying. Now she knew that it was the feelings that he caused that annoyed her!!! His damned actions, and her also damned reactions!!!  
  
But, what were these strange feelings that had corrupted her? She had never wanted a man, nor did she ever feel a need for anyone other than her family and friends. How did he invoke such strange things from her? The Ice Goddess?  
  
"Sakura-san?" Syaoran tried again, "Are you all right?"  
  
Snapping out of her stupor, she smiled. As much as she hated the thought of feeling anything besides irritation and anger at this man, she also knew that deep down Sakura never hated him. She hated the stereotypical him, the person he was expected to be. And now that she had a glimpse at the real him, she found an attraction that she had never felt before.  
  
But why was he so different? Why couldn't he be the cold and emotionless bastard that she had met only a few days ago? Shouldn't he be everything opposite of sweet, sincere and harmlessly inquisitive? That wasn't the Syaoran the world knew and hated...  
  
"I'm fine, Syaoran-sama," she said softly, letting her eyes meet his. She watched as slightly worried eyes looked into her own emerald orbs. She couldn't feel anything for this man, right? After all, he had taken her from her family and friends without much difficulty. She should hate him...  
  
But she didn't.  
  
Not even when he had stolen away her first kiss (first kiss at eighteen. Whoa... But, then again, I haven't had mine either. I'm only thirteen, though.). She had never hated him, at least, not directly. She hated how he took her from her home, forced her to become his personal servant and his rude and unnecessary attitude. But she had never hated HIM. Each time, he never showed the person who sat in front of her. This was a persona that was hidden behind the masks and cloaks of the people. And, she knew, that she could never despise the man that was driven away by society.  
  
Then what did these new sensations mean? Was it karma, for turning down so many men? Perhaps was she going insane, and creating feelings for a person who will never like her as anything more than a slave, or a friend at most? Or was she finding feelings because, for the first time, she has met someone who actually interests her, even if it's just a crush?  
  
Looking at the multidimensional man, with so many different facets, she couldn't stop her smile. His strange personality matched hers. A cool, calm façade against the world, when inside they could break down without the world knowing. Queen Yelan had warned her about Syaoran's past, that something tragic had happened to him.  
  
Was this the cause for the different levels of Syaoran's personality?  
  
To find out, she's had to work to gain this man's trust, but it didn't seem hard. He was fairly calm around her, not like when he was around other strangers. Was it because she reminded him of someone? And was that the person that ended up crushing him so?  
  
If she wanted to know, Sakura was going to have to find out what made this man tick.  
  
But...  
  
Falling for him wasn't part of the process...  
  
SxSxSx  
  
AN: I'M SORRY!!!! So late! Look at my bio for the reason. GOMEN, MINNA- SAN!!!!!!!! I didn't mean to take so LONG!!!! SORRY!!!!  
  
If anyone was confused, Syaoran has many different faces. I decided to show the façade that is hidden behind his cool and calculating face. He isn't supposed to act like this. People expect him to be a cruel and irritable person, when he really is quite the opposite. Sometimes, even the writers, get so caught up in the personality we create for a character that we forget what they're really like. So, I portrayed him as the person he was in the anime (and/or before his past hurt him).  
  
The next couple chapters are undecided. I guess I'll have to type them up and think about it. I really don't feel like finishing this story, so I'll probably end it in about ten chapters, and DEFINITELY no sequel. When you know my ending, you probably will want a sequel, but I don't want to do one. Maybe if I get back into CCS...  
  
PLEASE REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Well, till next time!  
  
Much love,  
  
Adobo-chan 


	5. Chapter 4: Homecoming Part 1

AN: Hi everyone! I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while! I just haven't been writing, and, even if I do, I can't update!!! I know. it sucks. I'm sorry for all of you who have been patient. I'm trying my hardest, and believe me, I really am. But I just don't have as much time or muse, as I'd like. So, I dedicate this chapter to all the loyal reviewers and/or readers!

One of my reviewers wanted me to have Meiling and Touya visit Sakura, but I'm going to do something a little different. I hope you all enjoy. I assure you, in this chapter, Sakura is somewhat... defensive, I guess you could say. MUAHAHAHA!!

Disclaimer: I can't here you!!! LA LA LA LA LA!! I don't know what you're talking about!!!

SxSxSx

Chapter 4: Homecoming (Part 1)

SxSxSx

Weeks had turned into months, and Sakura noticed that her life had become a blur. She found herself looking forward to her chores, some of them including tending to the garden that she was so fond of. She also helped out around the castle, cleaning, washing and cooking. She did anything she could get her hands on, and that meant many knew her name and face around the large establishment.

People also noticed she was very beautiful; especially the soldiers who were bold enough to approach the Ice Goddess. She brushed them off quickly though, having no time or interest in any of the men here. The only person who even piqued her curiosity was her employer (or Master, I suppose). She hadn't made much progress, but Sakura wasn't going to give up. She wanted to know why the man that could keep everyone away from him, and still have admirers mind you, was still trying to hide himself. She just wanted to see him smile, without it meaning someone was dead or in pain.

All the while, Sakura never knew about the guards she had rebuffed. All of them were taken aback by the girl's arrogance, which lead to Syaoran's over protectiveness when he heard plans about his servant being hurt or abused for her stance against the military men. Blood was poured through training grounds whenever his subordinates challenged his authority, and a warning was issued throughout the fortress, which Sakura had missed somehow. That if anything, anything at all, happened to the young girl, Syaoran was going to take care of it, personally.

So the young prince came to a conclusion. He knew it was only a temporary one, but was still unnerved by it. Syaoran really didn't want to give it to Sakura, but it had to be done. She'd enjoy it, at least, but he certainly wouldn't...

XxxxX

Within the ivory walls of the castle sat the always-regal Li kin, who were waiting for their breakfast to be served. There was little to no noise in the dining area, except for the servants' mild chatter milling about. Besides that, the Royal Family was unusually quiet. Even the four eldest sisters, who had come home for a few weeks, had said next to nothing, which left the entire palace in shock or relief. They had even managed to keep their children quiet, who were fidgety because of the tense atmosphere. Children never dealt well with pressure.

Most of the peace was due to their Crown Prince, Syaoran, and his rotten attitude this morning. He was in a particularly snappy mood, so no one dared to question him, or speak to him at all, for that matter. His sword, which seemed glued to his hip, was shining beneath the sunlight, and the servants knew that they didn't want to be on the receiving end of that blade.

Any and all insubordination would not be tolerated today.

"Xiao Lang?" came his mother's voice, and he looked at her, his scowl never leaving his face. He sat, hunched in his chair, arms crossed over his broad chest. His amber eyes were narrowed and filled with fierceness only a few could stand. He had one leg propped onto the other, as he waited for his mother's lecture to begin.

"Why let her go? I mean it's obvious that you don't want her to. Why be so irritated if YOU'RE the one who's going to let Sakura leave for home, anyway?" the queen asked, accusation lacing her tone. She needed to the reason for why her son was being so angry at something he was about to do. After all, he was the one who sought to protect the woman, but he wasn't willing to sacrifice some time so she could get away from this place.

"It's nothing, Mother," he said, irritated with the older woman. He was just reluctant to let the girl escape him. He had one hell of a meeting the first time they met. What would happen if they saw each other again, after she had seen her family and listened to more views on him?

"But you're so upset over something so petty. I mean if you want her to stay-"

"It's not just that, Mother. She's going home to a family that hates me. I don't want her coming back, brainwashed, thinking I'm a monster like everyone says," he said, sighing through his frustrated statement. She just didn't understand what it was like being seen as the vilest think in the kingdom, when in reality, no one really even knew him.

"If she knows you, like you say she does, then she wouldn't care if you really were a monster when she returns. Sakura will still see you as the same person that left an impression on her when she leaves," Yelan spoke, authority in every syllable. She believed in Sakura, as a person and as her subject. If Xiao Lang could let Sakura open up his heart, even if just a little, then there was definitely something special about this girl.

He nodded his head obediently, not wanting to continue with such a pointless subject. He knew what he had to do, but that didn't mean he wanted to do it.

"Excuse me?" a small voice cooed, and it echoed through the silence. Everyone had looked towards the large doors, where an auburn-haired head was. Her light hair and large, curious eyes stuck out against the oak backdrop.

"Please, Sakura-san, come in. We have some news for you," Queen Yelan said, before she dismissed everyone else. Their breakfast was served quickly, while people shuffled to exit the room. Whispers about what was going were being passed around, but ignored by those who understood, except Sakura. She was as clueless about what she was here for, much like the reluctant-to-leave staff.

"Yes, Your Majesty?" she asked, her voice still small and hard to here, due to the echoing. Everyone watched as the girl fidgeted with her fingers before staring up at the queen. But the older woman's calm smile eased the girl's worries, and she smiled back warily.

"We would like to send you home," she said, but noted the look of shock that etched Sakura's features. Her mouth had opened, as if she was going to ask a question. Instead, it open and closed like a fish and her eyes were wide with surprise.

Sakura wasn't expecting something so... out-of-the-blue. Had she done something wrong? Did she neglect any duties? Was there something she could do to fix it?

"But, my Queen, why? Have I done anything to displease you? I-" Sakura began, but was cut-off by a small, deep chuckle, that resonated around the room. The rumble had left the Prince's lips, and had somehow turned upward, due to his amusement. How something so trivial as this pleased him was beyond what any normal person could comprehend.

"And what, Your Highness, is so funny?" she asked, hands on her hips as she took a stance. This was why she hated talking with this man when people were around. He was always there to laugh at her, even though there was nothing funny to laugh about. He was too random sometimes.

"I'm sorry, Sakura-san," he said, his small smile trying to be pushed back down, but failing, "But the fact that you sound so out-of-character is amusing. Usually you're one to yell, and start asking a million questions a minute. But here, you're so polite and have such good manners-"

"Which you've obviously forgotten now, haven't you My Prince?" she said, infuriated with his bemused attitude. He found everything about her so funny, but she was being respectful. The only time she ever acted rude was when he taunted her, which often lead to her throwing the nearest object at him. Too bad there was nothing around her, and that his family was still present.

He just smiled, his smug arrogance gracing his features. She could do next to nothing to him, besides try and assassinate him, but the chances of that were microscopic. He watched with satisfaction as her uncontrollable blush crossed her cheeks, as she tried to keep cool. Everyone in the kingdom knew that you should never blow up at the Li Family, but Sakura was fighting a losing battle.

"Oh, but Sakura-san," Fanren butted in, smiling at the only too obvious chemistry brewing, "It's only temporary. Little brother believed that it was best for you to leave while he sorted out the guardsmen around here."

"Why?" she asked, forgetting her anger for the moment. What did she have to do with the soldiers around the palace? She hadn't done anything wrong, had she?

"The guard of the castle is quite smitten with you, Sakura-san," Seifa began, and watched as the smile that was planted on her brother's face turn sour, "But since you have no interest in any of them, they have all been devising plans to get some kind of revenge on you."

Sakura's eyes widened, knowing exactly what they meant. There had been many who have come to hate her because she had not taken men's proposals. Attempts to avenge their pride had been made, but she was usually with her family, so they took care of her. But there was no one here to defend her now, which meant she wasn't as safe as she wished.

"But don't worry," Feimei said, giving Sakura a wink, "Syao-kun's going to take care of it. He's already started talking to the men, and has been trying to make them stop obsessing. He'll stop them, one way or another. Little brother has become quite fond of you, Miss Kinomouto."

Tilting her head to the side, Sakura looked at the other woman with an innocent expression. Why would that idiot prince be worried over her? Usually she was worried over him, mostly because she wanted to make sure he was sane. And a lot of the time, he was very close to losing it.

But, by trying to help her, did that mean he actually cared? The thought had crossed her mind, once or twice before, but now she really wanted to know. Could Syaoran care for her, even if just a little? He had shown little friendliness to her, besides their mini bouts that spat from each other's lips. But that didn't mean he actually cared, did it? The concept that he worried, even just a little, brought a sense of security and warmth around her. Perhaps there was still a way to keep him human.

Looking over at the Crown Prince, her smile was confident. He had turned his head away from her, but she could still see the embarrassed pink tinge that had gathered to his cheeks. If he did think about her and want to help, then maybe there was some hope for a friendship.

XxxxX

"Come on, Sakura-san! We need to leave!" came Prince Syaoran's voice, waiting for the girl to hurry up so they could head for her home. He would be the one escorting her from the palace, and he was getting impatient. Did that girl always wake up late, or was this payment for laughing at her yesterday?

As she stumbled down the front steps, her suitcase in hand, he chose the first one. No one that clumsy could be good at being on time as well. Heaving herself from the ground, Syaoran sighed as he took her baggage and climbed into the carriage after her.

"So, Sakura? Are you always this unorganized, or are you just forgetful? I mean, not only are you late, but you forget to pack as well," said the Prince, his nonchalant tone annoying the jade-eyed teen. She narrowed her eyes at him, but said nothing. She'd get back at him soon enough. Besides, why waste time on a jerk like him?

"Aww, what happened? Cat got your tongue?" Syaoran fussed over her like an infant, smiling his evil smile. It took everything Sakura had to not jump out of the wagon, or at least push him out.

"Just shut up," she said, a large yawn escaping. She hadn't gotten any sleep due to her excitement. She couldn't wait to see her brother and Meiling. She had also made something for Ling while she was away, and couldn't wait to see her loving niece again. Her father was going to be so surprised, and she couldn't wait to tell him that she was fine. Then there was Eriol and Tomoyo. She began to wonder if she had the baby...

In her half-conscious state, Sakura's head fell onto the nearest thing. But what she didn't know was that, as she slept peacefully, Syaoran noticed that he had become a pillow. Although tempted to move her, he allowed to young woman to sleep in blissful ignorance. That, and he could use it as good blackmail.

Finding that his eyelids were heavy as well, the Crown Prince snuggled his face into the strawberry-smelling hair, and was enraptured by the scent. He fell asleep in Sakura's silky hair, somehow finding his arms to weave around her in an embrace...

XxxxX

"M'Lord and Lady?" came a soft whisper, and two pairs of eyes had opened tiredly. As the eyes came into focus, they had noticed that someone stood at the door. It was the coachman, who had peaked his head into the carriage when no one stepped out. He found them asleep, and had woken them up.

The Prince waved his hand, signaling him to leave. Bowing his head, the man left, leaving the two to find a way out of their stupor. Trying to wake up, Syaoran pushed himself off of Sakura, but the young noblewoman had found a comfortable place to rest against his chest. He watched as she snuggled into the dark green shirt he had on, and her hands balling the cloth into her hands. She lay against him peacefully, and smiled in contentment.

Another cursed smile inched its way across Syaoran's face, and he instinctively let his hand run down Sakura's golden-brown hair. Stroking the satiny hair, he also allowed himself to also cup the girl's face with his hand. Her sleeping features were calm, so unlike what her normal state.

He lifted her face to meet his, and smiled when she sighed softly, happily. Syaoran's nose touched hers softly, and he was so close to letting his lips touch with hers, like when they had first met.

Instinct took over, and he placed a soft kiss on her pouted, cherry lips. But it wasn't the rough, passionate kiss that he usually gave. Instead, it was calm, gentle and tender. All of the things he wasn't allowed to be. All of the things Sakura saw in him. And with those emotions came strange feelings. Not only was their a certain kindness in it, but there was also a sense of longing, trust and...

Belonging. That was something that he hadn't felt for many years. At least, not since...

When the thought seeped through his veins, he quickly pulled away from Sakura, as if her touch had burned him. But at the sudden movement, Sakura began to stir, awakened by the sudden abandonment. Her eyes were dulled with sleep, but soon lit up when she noticed that they had arrived at their destination.

Hopping out of the door, she ran towards the door, where her family was waiting. Getting over his initial shock, Syaoran followed and watched as the girl embraced her father and brother. His cousin Meiling and his niece (well sort-of) were waiting to hug her as well. There was also her friend, Tomoyo, who was still pregnant and expecting soon. Eriol, his childhood friend at one time, held Tomoyo as she cried happily into his shoulder.

He was almost forgotten, if only Meiling hadn't decided to step in.

"What are you doing here, Syaoran-sama?" the woman said, glaring at her older cousin. She was obviously very tempted to get him off their property, along with everyone who had noticed that the Prince had shown up.

Hateful glances and stares engulfed the heir, but he didn't flinch. Being stared at by people who hate you was quite easy for Syaoran to brush off. He stared with a stoic, yet casual leer. He observed as Touya, his cousin-in-law, which disturbed him, clenched and unclenched his fists at his sides. Even Eriol looked upon him with contempt and a little more than irritation.

"I just came by to drop off, Sakura-san," he said, stuffing his hands into his pockets. He waited for any more questions or comments to flare out at him, as he patiently stood there.

"If you don't mind, Li-sama, we would like to enjoy the rest of the afternoon. So if you'd please leave..." Touya growled, a hand on his shoulder holding him back. He watched as the Prince smirked and shrugged, not really answering. His cocky attitude got on Touya's nerves, and he was tempted to kill the Prince on the spot.

"Nii-san, don't be rude," Sakura butted in, giving her brother a half-hearted glare. She surprised everyone when she had decided to stick up for the Prince. Syaoran merely watched the scene unfold, taking interest as the one being watched over, not ridiculed.

"But why? I mean he took you from us. Don't you hate him?" came her older brother's shocked reply. What had they done to his kaijuu, brainwash her?

"Syaoran and the Li's have been good to me for the last few months. You're being rude to my Master. Please apologize," she said, an underlying tone in her voice. It said, 'apologize-or-I'll-hate-you-forever.' Mouths agape, Syaoran had found out where Sakura gets her colorful temper and mannerisms. It seems as if her family and friends were quite interesting as well.

A grumbled, semi-honest confession was said to the Crown Prince, and he nodded. Turning his attention to Sakura, he looked her in the eye. Syaoran knew Sakura hated it when he stared at her because he rarely blinked, and it freaked her out. She said he had "Lizard Eyes" and would call him by some kind of reptile when they argued. All because Syaoran enjoyed staring at Sakura when he spoke to her.

"I'll be back in a month's time, Sakura," Syaoran said, forgetting the honorific. But he also made no attempt to fix his slip up, much to Touya's irritation. He didn't like the fact that the future king could be so personal with his sister, when he treated her as a slave.

Nodding excitedly, she bowed with a smile. But as she watched Syaoran walk to the carriage, she couldn't help but feel a little lonely. This would be the longest time she spent away from that stubborn bastard. She should be happy, getting a break from her chores and duties and...

Him...

She should be glad... right?

But as the carriage pulled the regal man away, for some reason she felt that he left her without something. Did he take anything while they rode in the stagecoach? She had felt that kiss that he'd pressed to her lips, but said nothing of it. She didn't hate it, but it was different. There was something real behind that touch, not just a passion needing fulfillment. It was pure and warm, but he pulled away, scared. What had happened to him when their lips made contact? Had he remembered something painful? It seemed as if she had caused him pain somehow. Like a flashback of something that had hurt him, at one point in his life...

But what was it? What made him pull away?

But most of all, what had Syaoran stolen from her?

And why did she have a feeling that it would all end in disaster?

SxSxSx

AN: I'M SORRY!!!! I know this was late, and I know I took too long, but I finished this chapter and I didn't have anywhere to upload it. I'll try my best to get it in faster, but I haven't fixed my computer yet. I'm really sorry everyone, I really am. I promise the next chapter will be better!

Next chapter (I'm going to try and do these so you guys won't get so tired of waiting):

What happens when people who hate her "Master" surround Sakura, and bombard her with questions? And what happens when there are people who really like the Prince and ask her even more inquiries? Why is she so protective and even a little jealous over him? SO MANY QUESTIONS!!!! Not to mention that Tomoyo's about to give birth!

Don't forget to review!!!!! Please...

Well, till next time!

Much love,

Adobo-chan


	6. Chapter 5: Homecoming Part 2

AN: OMG!!!!!!!! I am SOOOOOOOOO SORRY!!! I did not mean to take this long to update, but life has been getting pretty hectic. High school is weighing me down, so I don't have a lot of free time. Here's the next chapter, so please review and I'll do my best to update. I'm sorry again!!! ((bows))

Disclaimer: Not mine. Yeah, yeah, yeah…

SxSxSx

Chapter 5: Homecoming (Part 2)

SxSxSx

You'd think that, with all the time that Sakura spent with Syaoran, she'd know how to deal with sarcasm. But, everywhere she went, Sakura heard many wisecracks. And not only were they not funny, but they were all centered on a "cold-hearted bastard." Now, if you hadn't guessed who it was already, then you obviously haven't been paying very good attention.

If you guessed Prince Syaoran, then you're correct. Because everywhere Sakura went, home, the markets, even in her front yard, there were cruel statements about her lord prince. Everyone judged him, and talked about him, as if they had known each other forever and were waiting to vent out their frustrations.

However, many things of what they said were wrong.

Just a few days ago, Sakura went out to buy groceries and was pulled into a conversation with a few old neighbors, Reyna and Letrio.

Reyna was only fifteen-years-old and naïve, in a sense. At the same time, she was also wise beyond those who had lived years before her. She had a spontaneous attitude. One minute she'd be talking about why the earth was created and how small we were compared to the universe, and then she'd ask what's for lunch. Her thought patterns were random, and it was hard to think of her even smarter than a grasshopper. But, it was a well-known fact that Reyna was among the brightest in the city, despite her ditzy camouflage. She used her strange personality to throw people off, just so she could entertain herself. She was a self-proclaimed sadist and was dubbed a nutcase by most of the people.

Reyna was quite tall for her age, though. About five foot five, which was taller than what most woman grew to be. Sakura was about a head shorter than the younger girl, making our cherry blossom a bit self-conscious. Reyna was also slim and underdeveloped, due to her incessant training in combat archery. She was used to running around in the woods, while playing "tag" with other archers, using cushioned arrows to hit their opponents. Her dodging skills were much to be desired though because she was sometimes slow-witted, due to a few random places in time where she blanked out on what she was doing.

Her eyes were a light blue, and reminded many of the pure lake that resided a few miles outside of town to the west. Her skin was tanned, due to her outside rough housing with the young men of the village. The girl was a muscle woman and scared off many with her tall and strong stature, but was really quite a sweetie. People thought she was a very improper young lady, which lead to few suitors, not that she cared.

Letrio, on the other hand, was a young man of nineteen. He was the kind of man most women desired. His features were very attractive, and made many women swoon, in spite of themselves. He was a gentle person, but you wouldn't have guessed that by his strong build. He was a sprinter and jumper, who loved the feel of the wind when he ran faster and faster. Or how the sun felt when he reached to juump high, how blessed it was to be underneath such beauty. He was also very strongly opinionated and protected the down-trodden. It was just his way.

His golden hue eyes were almost cat-like to an observer. They watched and examined whatever interesting thing they could catch. They wer haunting and pierced the soul of the many people who were unfortunate enough the catch the glaring light of such wondrous orbs. His jet black hair shined beneath the afternoon sun, giving him a handsome, boyish look. He was certainly attractive and well-built, leaving many women in his wake as he searched for a wife, since he was approaching marrying age for men.

Sakura had been passing by a vegetable stand one day, as she searched for ingredients for dinner, and came across an adorable-looking pair. She had thought that they were a couple, since the two were in such close proximity and staring intensely into each other's eyes. Sakura knew that Reyna and Letrio had remained friends, so she had expected they had remained only that while she was gone...

But, the moment between the "just friends" was spoiled when both girls' eyes had met.

They had yelled in surprise when they met up with each other again, obviously not expecting each other's presence. When talk started to spill, Sakura was immediately asked about palace life.

"I heard that the Prince is supposed to be beautiful, almost as much as any maiden. Is it true, Saku?" Reina asked, her eyes open with curiosity. The thought of such a handsome man was quite appealing, and her mouth was already watering at the thought.

Scrunching her nose, Sakura looked as if she had smelled something bad. She had narrowed her eyes and made a strange face. "Is the Prince good-looking?" she repeated in her own words, and looked as if she was thinking about her answer.

Was he? Syaoran-sama did have a nice complexion, with tan skin and dark chocolate eyes. His dark dusty hair was just a little bit curled at the tips, but remained straight for the most part. His features were constantly serious and looked annoyed almost everyday. His mouth was in a silent pout every time someone saw him, while his eyes glowed with intimidation as he tried to break someone. In almost every way, his Highness was an emotionless rock in the white sand.

'But he's more than just a scowl,' her conscience reminded her, poking at the memories she had kept in the back of her mind. They were the thoughts of their timely and untimely meetings, when it was just the two of them. Anywhere from an afternoon of tea and teasing, mostly done by Prince Syaoran, to an unexpected walk that they had coincidentally taken at the same time.

When he was like that, Syaoran-Ohjii-sama was not his usual cool self. His eyes lost the glazed ice effect and were replaced with a more natural glint of a child. His orbs seemed to have a mischievous sparkle when she was around, and it was unnatural compared to his regal façade. Not only that, but his face seemed lighter, happier in a way. The light of the sun or the shine of the moon gave him a very casual, comfortable look. He was much more approachable that way and Sakura was always happy to see him when he forgot to be serious and remembered to be human.

As Sakura's thoughts contradicted with each other, Letrio interrupted. His face darkened at the name of their country's future dictator.

"He's just a pretty face. There's nothing beyond that but a glacier of a heart behind him," Letrio said, jealousy lacing his tone. It was a secret, but he had always had a small crush on Sakura, ever since they had become such good friends. But he never acted on it, knowing that he'd never want to lose Sakura's friendship, or his life.

"You just don't like the fact that he has Sakura at his calling," Reyna said with a laugh. But her eyes looked at him somewhat sadly when he did nothing to deny her claim, but only blush and stutter in response. To say the girl hadn't grown affectionate towards the other man was a lie. Her heart had been captured over the time they had spent together, when Sakura was gone, and she had grown to care for the man. Maybe a little too juch for her own good. She knew about his feelings for Sakura, through the many talks that they had shared together. And, from what she had heard and saw, she knew Letrio was in a bit of a bind with his feelings.

And that left little room for her to step in.

So, with nothing else to do, Reyna beared it and smiled. She had promised to remain by his side and she would. It was the only thing she could do...

"I am not always at his beck and call..." Sakura muttered, a flush coming over her cheeks.

Almost forgetting she was there, Reyna let a small smirk cross her lips. Unfortunately, that gesture reminded Sakura of the prince she had left at the palace. His eyes would narrow and that wolfish grin would make its way across the plain of his face. It was so annoying because she knew that he was up to something when he wore the smile. It spelt trouble, usually for her.

"Yeah, and I bet you love seeing him everyday. I mean, he's supposed to be gorgeous. Who wouldn't like seeing him everyday?" the younger girl said with a widening smile, ignoring Sakura's hesitant shake of her head and Letrio's glare.

"He's not like that at all!" Sakura began angrily, remembering everything he had put her through, "He's rude, arrogant, annoying, stupid, self-absorbed... thinks he's better than everybody else..."

"And beautiful and smart..." Reyna worked in, seeing if Sakura would take the bait. And she did.

"Yeah... And he can be caring, compassionate even. Gentle, tender, thoughtful, observant.... and.... AND WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?! Trying to get me to admit that kind of stuff?!" Sakura screamed, realizing that she had begun spurting words that weren't negative. How did such vile things cross her lips?

But Reyna laughed, looking at Sakura with humor-glazed eyes. She held her sides as she weezed out every laugh that her body had stored.

The look on Sakura's face was priceless. As soon as the compliments left her mouth, she immediately became tranquil, sweet even. She looked like a lovestruck puppy dog, waiting for her beloved mate. To say that Sakura wasn't smitten with the cruel prince would be a lie. The girl had some serious feelings brewing in her heart and head.

"Wow, Sakura. That guy has got to be something special because I heard some really nice things coming from the Ice Goddess's mouth. Words that she would not say about any normal guy..." the teen taunted with a smile. The tears that had leaked from her eyes had fallen and she was wiping them away with her finger. Sometimes Sakura was just too much for her.

"Come on, Reyna," Letrio butted in, not liking where this conversation was going, "Sakura can't possibly like that freak. I mean, you heard her. She called him arrogant and conceded-"

"She also said he was caring and thoughtful. If that doesn't scream crush, then I'm not an archer," was her reply to his attack. He was getting defnsive because he liked Sakura, but that didn't mean he was right. Sakura might actually have someone who was worth her attention.

The two went between each other, fighting over who was right. Continuosly though, Letrio was stopped in a sentence and then countered by Reyna's spirited remarks. All the while, Sakura watched and smiled. Now she remembered why she had mistaken these two for a couple. It was because, between the two of them, there was something fiery and tangible when they were near each other. Something that was strong enough to pull them together, despite the four year age-differennce. And, what ever that bond was, it held them together, even through their arguing. It wasn't a cutsy, fake romance, but something really strong and interesting. This strange fire held them together, neither really noticed it though.

"You know what guys?" Sakura said, a smile lighting her face when the two people had finally stopped. The looked at her questionaingly, "You guys fight like an old married couple."

Both of their jaws dropped and then approached her, spitting out excuses and how they weren't compatible and lots of other things. But Sakura saw, despite their raving mouths, that both had a tinge of additional color on their cheeks, and it wasn't from the lack of air only.

Waving her hands in defense, Sakura gave them a smile and told them she was joking. They stopped immediately, turning their heads in opposite directions. Their embarassed faces brought a giggle from her throat and she smiled widely. Both of them reminded her so much of her and Prince Syaoran.

Her light mood was soon dampened at the thought. Was she really like this with the prince? Did people think this of them as well? That there was something between them? If anyone did, then Sakura had something to say to them!

Deciding to get off the subject,Sakura took a breath before telling the should-be couple goodbye. She couldn't risk thinking such things on her short stay. There was only a week before she had to leave and she wanted to see Tomoyo's baby soon. That, or she'd miss her soon-to-be godchild's birth.

However, as Sakura walked home, her needed goods in her arms, he heard another crack about Syaoran. The joke compared him with the frozen zones of space, how he was as low as the depths of the underworld and how much he was like an insect. Pesky and in desperate need to be swatted.

Many laughs came from the crowd that had gathered around the comedian, as she stopped to listen. Her hands tightened around the strap of her bag that she brought for her shopping. So many undeserving taunts had been said and she had heard them all. These people, who didn't even know their future ruler, dared to laugh and makes jokes? How they are the ones that push the good, decent Crown Prince, into hiding and actually get away with saying all of this bullshit. There was something very wrong with this.

Pushing through the crowd and their laughter, she found the loudmouth who had said so many untrue things. He was a short and stout man, about forty years in age. He had a ring of brown locks around his head, which were the places where he wasn't balding. His face was smiling at his own wisecracks and he found himself very interesting to listen to.

"Excuse me, sir," Sakura said, giving one of her gracious smiles. Everyone's eyes landed on the girl, knowing exactly who she was. A noble and a servant to the prince they had so richly ridiculed. She approached the man with a walk that belonged only to one of high class.

The small man gave a yelp and bowed to her, showing his respect and some fear. This brought some pleasure to Sakura.

_Good_, she thought, _He should be scared._

"L-Lady Kinomouto," the man stuttered, standing upright, trying to mask his awkwardness, "What are you doing here?"

"Well, I was passing by and heard laughter. Is there something funny about the things you said about my Lord Syaoran? Because, I know, I did not find them amusing," she spoke, her regal and authoritive voice coming to pierce the man's words. He moved his jaw up and down, like a fish out of water, before it promptly shut. His dark, beady eyes hardened with determination as he got ready to defend himself against the noblwoman.

"It is not unheard of to mock the rulers that we have, Kinomouto-san," the diminuitive man said, choosing his words carefully. He did not want to answer to the Crown Prince's guard out of nowhere because he had said a few things that didn't... _favor_ the future ruler.

"No, it is not," Sakura agreed, staring him down with strong emerald eyes, "But it's also not right to make assumptions of people who you do not even know."

"Who says I do not know our prince?! He is cruel and full of malice, doing whatever it takes to take pwer and strike fear. He cares nothing for us, the people, but for his own well-being. He is not _my_ prince!"

The words he said were strong, but Sakura didn't even flinch. He was trying so hard to make her Master look like an idiot when, in reality, he was the idiot. He cared to jump from one conclusion to another, always going on everyone else's opinions. Had he ever thought to think for himself? Had any of the people decided to think for themselves? Or did they all share one strange mind?

But it didn't matter. What they thought never did. Only her loved ones, her family and friends, ever really amounted to anything. In the midst of the crowd's deadly silence, Sakura's chuckle was heard, but it was cold and humorless, followed by the rough words:

"You are obviously a fool with no brain if you insult what you do not understand."

Her words wer quick, without hesitation. She did not sugarcoat what she meant, but insulted him with the crowd staring at the two. She had taken his pride and tossed it to the dogs to eat.

The man must have been stupid to patronize someone like Lord Syaoran. Yes, it was true he was a bit of a bastard, but who isn't when everyone expects you to be? To live up to the wrong expectations. He can't please the people because the people are too selfish themselves. Calling him greedy, full of avarice. Ha! That wasn't at all true. Despite being a little rough around the edges, Syaoran was trying to be a good ruler. She had seen him, quite a few times, looking over the history of the country and the tales of people who had helped keep it safe. His patriotic attitude was different than his usual outlook, but Sakura saw it very comforting. It was something she had seen, something few had seen, and she found it quite sweet, endearing. To love your country, your kingdom, even more than yourself. And that was a _lot_, considering how much he prided himself on being Li Syaoran.

He thought he didn't understand his people.

In truth, it was his people that didn't understand him. He needed to learn that the majority doesn't matter. Your heart is your heart. Let others see it and then let them judge you. It was a lesson he was still learning, as was she. To be true to those around you without being crushed by the pressure of people. To give your heart true freedom.

It would not be easily attainable.

Things in life never were.

But, as Sakura walked away from a crowd of hushed people, she knew she was making progress. She listened to her heart and showed a piece of her even _she_ wasn't ready for. A part of her that cared for that obnoxious man and his kindred spirit, hiding in the shadows.

She had been kind because he had been kind.

She protected because he protected.

Everything between them was vice versa. The good and the bad. They shared what was truly going on through their minds by their words, body language and anything in between. They had cracked each other's seal on their diamond-protected hearts.

Sakura was scared tocommit to anyone because of her name, her title.

She ws scared that someone would want her only for her looks and family prestige.

She was scared that someone would see her real heart, and reject her because of it.

She had kept herself locked away, stored for someone who might love her. Sakura waited for her special somone to release her from her hand-made prison. That the man she loved would wake her true self from its slumber so she could finally experience real love. A love that was hers and hers alone. And a beloved who would love her and only her.

Syaoran searched too.

He had what she desired, once. A romance that fit a fairytale. Something he thought was full-proof, without any holes to ruin the wonderful dream. He hoped he would never wake up and that this sweet wonderland would stay, his lover at his side forever.

But all fairytales have an ending after _happily_ _ever after_.

And all dreams must be broken by the morning.

Everything starts anew.

And, perhaps, Syaoran may get the chance for another happy ending.

And, maybe, Sakura would find a true love all her own.

And, one day, they may find those qualities of their future lovers...

In each other.

SxSxSx

AN: YAY!!! I'm done! Now I have two other stories to update before I start on other chapters... ((sigh)) These stories take a lot out of a person. But I hope that everyone will review. I'm sorry for the long wait, but I hope to find more time later. Thanks for being patient!

Next Chapter: It's dinner at the Kinomouto's and Sakura is caught between her heart and her head as she listens to her family and friendsjoke about the "evil prince." Her mind says that it's normal that her family would talk because he had taken her. But her heart knows that this isn't at all what Syaoran is like. Caught between an inner battle, Sakura must choose between two warring entities and decide. Her loved ones or the one she (unknowingly) loves? And what's this about Tomoyo...? WHAT?! She's in _labor_?!

Well, till next time!

Much love,

Adobo-chan


	7. Chapter 6: Coming Back

AN: I'M SORRY! Another late update! Please understand. Life isn't as nice and as carefree as I'd like. So,unfortunately, that means very little writing time. Not to mention I'm prepping for two conventions and school, and I'm debating whether or not to try tennis this summer because I have _quit_ karate... God! Life bites, neh?

Disclaimer: All rights reserved.

SxSxSx

Chapter 6: Coming Back

SxSxSx

"Syao-kun, you really need to stop doing that," Fanren sighed, watching as her younger brother strutted across the throne room. He paced one way before turning the other, and continued across the chamber with a haughty attitude. No one dared to approach him, afraid he'd snap indignantly like he was known for. So, the young prince remained walking in a trivial manner for quite some time before someone spoke.

"What are you talking about? I'm not doing anything," Xiao Lang said hastily, slowing down just a bit to make eye contact before walking briskly again. He was irritated at something, but it was a little strange seeing him so open about it.

"Does this have anything to do with-" Feimei began, but was cut off by her brother.

"NO, this has nothing to do with Sakura! I mean, it's not as if I'm worried," he snapped, never missing a beat in his steps. Syaoran was distressing over nothing, but he had the feeling he should be worried. He was overly anxious eversince Sakura left, and a bit lonesome. His favorite playmate was with her family, who all hated him, and that might have influenced her thinking. She hadn't liked him when she first arrived. What was stopping her from liking him when she's returned, her head full of other's thoughts?

However, his introspective was interrupted by his sisters. They smiled that Cheshire grin, which made him somewhat nervous. Those smiles never meant anything good. They were planning something, but he had no right, or proof, to accuse them. His experience and gut told him, though, that he was going to to be put into an awkward position soon.

"Syaoran, I never said a _thing_ about Sakura-chan," Feimei said with a smirk growing on her lips, "I was going to say that you were still angry from your talk with the guard."

Oh yes, that had also put a little more stress on the Prince's shoulders. Syaoran had made it his duty to talk to them, and he did. He stated calmly and fiercely what was his. And Sakura was _his._ That possessiveness was enough for most of the guard to back down. However, there were those that were still skeptical concerning the teenaged girl. Why would his Highness work so hard to try and fight for a girl he had never really wanted in the first place?

But all those who questioned him were soon put near the edge of his skilled blade and said no more after that. So everything had turned out well. He would continue with any treatment that would ease the palace's watchmen away from his possession. Syaoran had never been fond of treating people as property, and was still bothered by the prospect, but Sakura did that to him. Whenever she was concerned, he was more than willing to take someone's head if he needed to. She had slowly seeped into his consiousness, and held a grip over him. As much as he wanted her to let go, so she would stop playing with his menatality, he knew it wouldn't be so easy to just give her up. He was attached to her as well.

But, this hadn't happened since...

"Syaoran?" Seifa chimed in, and he quickly broke his reverie. He was grateful as he stopped, for the first time in an hour, and looked to her. He also noticed her wide, beaming smile. It was never a good sign for him.

"How is Sakura-chan, do you know? We've missed her since she's been gone, and you've been irritable since she left. Is there something the matter?" came his sister's "innocent" inquisition. They were hinting at something, but he wasn't completely sure what. Then again, reading his sister's had always been hard since he had no female instincts to call his own.

"I'm sure she's fine," he replied quickly, waving a hand at her. However, he was't so sure. He was vexed just thinking the fact that she wasn't here. But he'd have to keep that to himself, or his sisters would have a frenzy.

"She probably is. Still, I wonder what she's up to. I mean, she hasn't seen her family, friends... For all we know, she may even have a fiance back home," Fuutie (spelling?) said with a shrug, noticing the look in her borther's eyes. The amber depths had chilled exceptionally, his eyes hating whatever they caught. Never was there a thought that Sakura's hand might belong to another. And even though she may belong to him now, there was a chance that whomever was waiting for her might pay the price for her freedom. But, the thought of giving her to someone he didn't know...

_Calm down, Syaoran,_ he said to hmself, relaxing his tense shoulders. _You don't know anything about what's going on at home. Don't assume either. Just breathe..._

Taking a deep, long sigh, the brown-haired man calmed his angry body. He was always so quick to anger, now was no different. He had to ask Sakura such things before getting angry. However, knowing Sakura's attitude towards most men, he was at odds with himself. On one hand, she could hate men, and perhaps was still searching for someone. After all, it had taken time for him to get her to even look at him without narrowing her jade eyes. She really did seem to hate men.

Or, on the other hand, she could be engaged, which was why she fought men off so badly. The thought made his blood boil, his aura darkening with an anger he had never felt before. After all, he couldn't be angry over something he didn't even know about, nor had any business in. Jumping to conclusions was common for him, so assuming that Sakura wasn't really his was easy for him to jump to, with no evidence at hand.

He made a mental note to find out.

"I'm sure she's fine. We should just let it go for now. I mean, she'll be returning in two days," Syaoran said with finality, signalling he had nothing more to say on this subject. However, his sisters had completed their mission and smiled at the prospect of having the teen coming back to them. Especially to their little brother. Finding Syaoran's feelings about his little cherry blossom was all they wanted. After all, when your rock of a brother starts to worry like a mother of her child, then you know something is wrong. But finally hearing some feeling from him wasn't displeasing.

Quite the contrary. This was _wonderful_ news...

Xx Hospital xX

"_EEEEEYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!_" Tomoyo screamed, her hands clutching the sides of the stretcher she was on. Tears leak onto her cheeks, as her family and friends chased after the woman who was being pulled away. Eriol had called everyone at two o'clock in the morning, panicking on the phone while his wife screamed in the background. Fujitaka immediately gave him instructions as Sakura called Touya on a separate phone line. He had quickly woken up Meiling, who ended bounding around the house, ready in a moment's time. She had also dragged along a sleepy Ling, who was rubbing her eyes as Touya held her when they quickly rushed with everyone to the hospital.

Now, Tomoyo was in the delivery room, Eriol holding her hand. Or, to be more precise, Tomoyo was... _crushing_ his hand. He was almost crying as much as Tomoyo, who was pushing out her child. Sakura stood there with her family, watching with happy, but somewhat scared, faces. Who knew Tomoyo had enough power to destroy someone's hand?

"_ERIOOOOLLLLL!_ I'm going to hurt _YOU!_" She screamed before her shrieks became louder. She probably didn't notice that she was already killing him. Not uncommon when you're having contractions and about to bear a child. However, all her agony was drowning out his own.

With one last scream, and after breaking all of Eriol's fingers, a baby's scream was heard. It's crying began when Tomoyo's had stopped, its lungs hurting when it breathed for the first time. Its eyes were curled into themselves, too tired to open them yet. The baby's hands began to fist themselves before loosening again, doing this cycle for sometime. Its skin was pale, much like the two parents. There was also a tuft of black hair on its head, which remained messy when Tomoyo took the child into her awaiting arms.

"It's a boy," she said breathlessly, almost too tired to keep her eyes open. However, she held the child close, Eriol right by her side. Sakura and Meiling squealed and ran to touch the child's budding hands. His legs kicked weakly, almost as if he had never known what they were for. Touya still held Ling, who was awake and in awe at the child's smallness. Fujitaka smiled as well, watching with crescent eyes.

Happy comments and sighs were heard in the room as the fatigue began to take over again. The night had come and gone quickly, leaving Sakura with one day to coddle the child. She spent her time by Tomoyo's tired side, as well as holding the beautiful baby. She just couldn't get over the fact that he was so amazingly gorgeous, or how she would have to leave him and her family behind.

But, the day the carriage came, her family and friends lined up to say goodbye. The new addition was placed safely in his father's arms and slept quietly for once. She was being called back to a life she had never wanted, and taken from the life she'd always had. She should have hated it, should have wanted to stay with these people in front of her. Even when she felt their hugs, noticed her tears, as well as her own, she couldn't stop a feeling that was bubbling inside of her.

As she watched everyone wave goodbye, just like the first time, she couldn't stop the emotion making her heart beat faster. Her stomach began to rise, but not in a sick way, but out of some strange excitement. It wasn't like the first time when she dreaded going to the palace. But, it wasn't a pleasant feeling either. It made her nervous because she had never felt this before.

She'd felt something similar when she was on her way home again. Being so far apart from her family made her miss them so much, but never had something been this strong, this mind-bending, in her. Her hands trembled as she clutched her dress, almost frantically as the carriage slowed to a trot before stopping.

The feeling in the pit of her stomach was still there as she greeted the Queen and her daughters. It remained as she passed the guards, not even noticing that they went stiff when she past. _Even_ when she said hello to all the servants, and how they enbraced her. She found no relief and it became even more anxious as she searched for Syaoran. In fact, it became even stronger as she ran through the halls and into every room she found, knocking more than one person down in her haste.

But, the gardens had remained unchecked, so she quickly ran to the familiar grounds. She looked around every tree, occasionally looking around the larger ones. She looked everywhere and her spirits began to darken. She never noticed a pair of amused amber eyes watching her, or how they brightened when she looked more vigorously. However, she'd leave soon if he didn't get her attention.

Jumping down from his sacred tree, Syaoran stood and watched her for a little while longer, smirking at her apparent distress. She was so busy looking through the garden, with energy he never knew she had, that she didn't even notice him when he leaned on the tree he was formerly sitting in.

"Welcome back, Sakura," his voiced said, and she immediately turned to see his smirking face. His arms were crossed over his broad chest as he gave her his natural glare, though it was very light on his eyes.

The feeling of excitement had finally burst, and her heart had stopped beating the moment their eyes met. Her wide-eyed gaze soon closed, though, as she launched herself into his arms. Surprised at her initial reaction, he caught her when she hugged onto him. His arms had spread out to catch her small frame aginst his wide one, and he stared down at her. The smile inching its way on his face didn't stay down as he crushed her form to him, burying his face in her hair. The scent of strawberries reached him, giving the orince a feeling of nirvana as he struggled with himself whether or not to push her against a tree and taunt her in his own way. Hoever, knowing Sakura, she'd probabaly end up slapping him and would promise to never speak to him again. Therefore, he could only sigh deeply, allowing her aura to console him.

At least, for now.

In his arms, Sakura realized what it was. What the feeling of dread and happiness was. How her heart kept changing its acceleration every five seconds. Why she could never find the cure to her unexpected adrenaline rush. And how everything came into perspective now that she could see him and touch him.

It wasn't missing him, like she missed her family. She wanted to see her family, of course, but it was never this strong or compelling. Never had her entire body go into such a panic, even when Tomoyo was giving birth. Her body and soul had known something she hadn't, while her mind was slow to learn.

She had _longed_ to see him.

_Never_ had wanting ever been this powerful for Sakura. _Never_ had she had such intense relief fall over her like this instant. _Never_ had every pore in her body want more than just a gentle hug or caress. _Never_ would she ever had thought her soul would surrender to his own so easily...

And never had she guessed that she'd fall in love, without her own consent.

SxSxSx

AN: YOSH! Now, review! C'mon! You know you want to. So please make me feel better and leave me a message. JUST CLICK THE BUTTON! WAAAHHHHH!

Next Chapter: It seems Sakura has caught onto the fact that she wants Syaoran, but can she go as far to saying she _loves_ him? And what about Syaoran himself? Is he still in the dark about his feelings? Or, is the dark past that haunts him still clouding over his future?

Sakura finds that the heart Syaoran has always hidden was once broken itself. Can she mend it with her own care, or does Syaoran still harbor some feelings for the girl who left him, long long ago?

Well, till next time!

Much love,

Adobo-chan


	8. Chapter 7: Past Meets Present

AN: I'm sorry for the long wait. Unfortunately, my fandom for CCS has been low. I only began to write this fic on a spur of the moment thing, not knowing its popularity would be so high. Also, in my poor defense, I've been out of the country for most of July so writing wasn't really a priority, as well as the fact that my computer died on me and I had to figure out where everything was when I got back. God may not want me too write... ((scratches head))

Disclaimer: All rights reserved.

_**Chapter 7: Past Meets Present**_

The days in the Li kingdom had gone by peacefully, which surprised many of the servants within the walls of the main palace. The prince they had served forever and, who always had a sour mood, was now neutral and took no part in looking down on any of the peasants that wished to serve. Instead, he was actually-dare they say it-_pleasant_ to them and had very few things to correct. Eversince his 'slave' had returned, he was in a much better humor.

So of course the change would be noted by every living person within the vicinity of the castle and would spread slowly, but surely, outward to other towns. The news being embelished with every person that spoke of it, which made the tale more similar to gossip than human interest. Some citizens would even go as far to say the two were in _love_. This brought many whispers of good blessings to those outside of the stone walls of the palace. However, there were some within the brick barricades that knew of a story not too long ago, but was hidden to help keep an image going. There had been one other woman who had raised these feelings in their Crown Prince, once upon a time.

A repeat of that episode would shatter, not only the recent harmony, but their Prince Syaoran as well.

* * *

Sakura was minding the garden, as she always had before she left, and the gossipping of the other maids, not too far away, drifted to her. She listened in with a small smile as she tended to her loving flowers and trees with care, their talk only perking her interest when her Master was brought up. She decided to stop her chores and eavesdrop on their daily conversation that was used as a time to discuss family, friends, as well as whatever happened around the palace. 

"Has anyone else noted the way his Highness has been so... _gracious_?" said one of the ladies who was washing clothes in the large tub shared by the women. There was a happy chorus of approval while the younger girl snorted. Prince Syaoran being _nice_? To who and where could she get some of the change of attitude?

"It's all because of the new girl. She's got him strung around her finger," said one of the younger girls, her voice playing a bit of breathless envy as she hung a sheet along the clothesline. "It seems that she's become his servant and that she's of noble blood. If that doesn't scream fairytale then I don't know what does!"

The laughter ruffled itself in the wind and Sakura went a dit wide-eyed. The change was influenced by _her_ of all people? And he didn't even try to stop teasing her, which always gave her a reason to bite back. So he had the right to play with her but give everyone else some kind of respect? She glared and the scheming in her head didn't stop even as the women resumed talking.

However, the talk seemed to hush a bit. The wind quieted, almost as if to give the new subject a feeling of animosity. Sakura was just too caught up in her revenge scheme to notice it. She did, however, realize that they were sort of reluctant to continue onto the next subject. The air tightened around all of them, which made them even less eager to talk. But that only piqued the young noblewoman's curiosity as she waited with a light anticipation.

"She reminds you of the other... woman, ne?" began another but silent nods were the only response. "Do you think it'll end up the same way?"

"What do you mean?" said a young maid who was obviously new to the castle and story. Not that anyone could blame her for it. After all, this was something that had been kept from the outside world, orders from the queen herself. But, whoever worked in the palace, had the right to know why their future king was so cold after a turning point in his life. That way no one would make the mistake of bringing it up ever again.

"Around the time that Prince Syaoran had just seen sixteen summers, he was developing into a proud leader," came the voice of the oldest woman, whose wrinkles only held the years of wisdom and knowledge. Her story would unravel the mystery that Sakura had wanted to know since she arrived and the hint that her Majesty had given her. But the thought of finding what broke him brought an ominous feeling around her.

"There was once a woman who had shown great interest in the royal family, especially the young prince. She was a few years his senior as well as strikingly beautiful. She was never short a suitor, but had set her eyes on our future king. He didn't even notice when she constantly sprouted up during his practice sessions, balls, and any other private or open meetings she could stumble onto.

"Knowing Prince Syaoran, though, meant she was going to have a harder time than sweet-talking her way. She was constantly by his side, enough to the point where he even had to ask if she could leave him be." A chuckle. "But, over time, he fell in love with her sweet persistence. She asked him about his future hopes for his kingdom as well as lecturing about different subjects, starting pointless debates about them. They were in love, short and simple."

"However, her family had fallen upon rough times. They needed her to marry as soon as possible. But his Highness couldn't take a wife until he took his title as King. This, of course, would take too much time for her family, so he couldn't support her. In the end, she was married off to another lord without her consent. So now she is the lady of someone else's manor."

"Couldn't she have done something?" piqued a question from an anonymous voice. "She and Prince Syaoran were in love and it was known throughout the castle, right? Why didn't his Highness support her?"

"Silly girl," replied the storyteller. "This was only known within the castle walls and her family. No one else was supposed to know about them or it would give the other rulers a chance to poke fun at the Li Kingdom, making them seem weak that their cold-blooded son was weak with love. How could she defend herself without bringing anger to the Queen, who had allowed them this freedom?"

"And Prince Syaoran?" asked another listener, her voice strained with a little worry. "Why didn't he fight for her? After all, he loved her as well. Why didn't he try to convince her parents that he would support her in due time?"

"Because," the old woman answered, impatience threading through her tone, "the young prince was only a child, a young man who was only beginning to understand his responsibilities. Fighting for love was something he had never done, so he did what any other confused man would do. He let her go, thinking that she and her family could do better once she married and would eventually be happy."

"Was he not crushed?" another unidentified servant voiced. "I mean, he had fallen in love for the first time. There had to be something there or he wouldn't have let her into his life."

"Of course he felt _something_," exasperated the storyteller. "Why do you think he became so cruel, even to his own servants? Why do you think he never allowed to take on any personal servants or mistresses? It's because he's _afraid_ to. He was hurt once and so he wishes to remain detached in hopes of staying out of love."

"But that new maid he was given? Isn't she of noble blood?" Another round of whispers. "He's taking a liking to her, ne? Will the same thing happen again?"

"It was bound to, sooner or later," the old lady sighed, her shoulders hunching over even more. "He hasn't been this polite since he was a child and I don't doubt that that new girl is causing it. It's only a matter of time before he realizes one thing or the other."

"And what's that?" inquired a random voice.

"Isn't it obvious?" she snorted and then stood up. "He'll realize that he loves her or that he's trying to replace the old love he lost. I've seen that child and, I must say, she does remind me of the woman he let go. That youthful aura, her lovely smile, as well as her bouts of anger she shoots at him and then mutters to herself about; they're all similar to the girl he had loved long ago. But, what I think that's really attracted him, were those eyes. They're almost exactly the same, if I'm not mistaken."

* * *

The chatter continued in hushed voices, but Sakura ignored it as she stood up slowly. Shock was evident on her face, she knew. Her mind had taken in everything and now she wished she hadn't. The thoughts rushed through her mind, leaving a feeling of emptiness she had never felt before. To think that her ice cube of a master had actually been in love, that was unbelievable! I mean, he had shocked and amazed everyone when he showed a little patience toward them, but actually _caring_ for someone outside his family? That was even possible for him? 

_Why is it so hard to believe?_ she thought, her footsteps padding across the grass with a light thud. The wind had picked up again, blowing about her auburn hair once more. Of course, Syaoran had to have feelings, but she had never expected to have them directed at any one person. He cared for his family, his country, and for himself. So maybe the last one was one person, but you have to love yourself to accept everything in life. But for him to care about one single person above all else was a feat she didn't know he could accomplish.

_Whay are you thinking so hard?_ she asked herself, actually hoping she'd get answer. _I mean, what do his past relationships matter? He's still rude, obnoxious, loud, irritable, and lacks some kind of respect from me. Why should I care if I'm the only one who gets that gets that from him; am the _only_ one who gets that kind of attention? But, I'm not the only one now, am I?_

Seeing a large maple tree, only a few feet away, she decided to claim a seat at its base. She curled her knees to her chest and hugged them, while tucking her chin into the folds of her dress. Syaoran had always seen her as nothing short of a servant, maybe even a friend, right? So why should any feelings he had for her be irrelevant? Was she just supposed to act like everything was all right and smile, as if nothing had changed?

**Are you sure that's all?** said another voice, something small but light with justice in its tone. **I don't think it's just his feelings for you that should cause you to worry. Isn't what he feels for that other woman a bit... sad? He gave her up and moved on, or at least tried to. Now he forces any emotion he has on you and you fall into every trap, every time.**

_Hey!_ she snapped at her conscience, at least supposing it was the little voice in her head. _I know I should be worried, but what's the point? It's not as if he loved me-god forbid-and if he_ did _then he has a horrible way of showing it. All he wishes is to provoke some kind of reaction from me when he talks, and I can't help it if he bothers me..._

**Then why give him the satisfaction? You can stifle your pride, just once, and maybe he'd know not to mess around. You have feelings too, ne? Just act hurt and see what it gets you.**

Could she do that? Could she _pretend_ to be hurt and have him try to comfor her? The possibilities were endless, considering that he had yet to touch any subject that could possibly cause her to kill him. He'd just speak with a certain tone of voice and she could almost feel the trigger of change in the air. He always reverted when she was around, which brought a small smile to her lips. She had never seen him smile unless he was with her. It was only when they were alone did he become so childish, she thought wistfully.

**And he shared those moments with another woman once.**

_Why does it matter? I'm here and it doesn't seem like he cares too much for her or me. He does it to let out his good side, even though I doubt you can really call it _good_... But he's happy. Do I need a reason to make him happy?_

**Of course not!** her conscience snorted, as if appalled by the very thing thought. **What I'm saying is how does he feel for you? And you for him? He shows something close to caring, but what can you offer? _Can_ you offer anything, or are you just a substitute but a first love gone wrong?**

_I am no such thing!_ she argued, her face tightening with a sour look.

**Okay... But who are you trying to convince? Me, the voice of reason? Or you?**

Then, as quick as she came, her little voice in the back of her head left. But the thought she left behind was still very present and brought other feelings to her. But it was a good question, one that required more than just her thoughts alone. If she was going to figure out anything, then she needed her Master to help. That would mean brushing against the subject of old love torn apart, even if he threatened her. She needed to sort out everything, knowing it had gotten much too complicated in a short amount of time.

But, most of all, she needed to figure out if she could handle being second to his past.

* * *

AN: Okay! Now I'm done and I'm happy! Yay! I hope you all enjoyed and please review. Oh well... I guess that's it. Oh, and I'm going to apologize in advance for taking too long. That way, none of you kill me, I hope...

Next Chapter: Sakura's figuring out her own feelings completely, and she decides to see if her Master is true to her too. But can he see past the emerald eyes and find the girl of the present, or is he stuck looking the woman of the past?

Well, till next time!

Much love,

Adobo-chan


	9. Chapter 8: No More Secrets

**'READ FOR GOOD HEALTH' Author's Note**: Okay, I've been pretty good with this for a while. I do understand that this is my most popular story because this pairing is popular and the plot doesn't totally suck, though the many cliches have made any surprises for this fic nearly impossible. So, yes, this will end somewhat cliched, but I'm thinking of an angst ending so no one gets too bored with me. In the end, I decide so no complaints. Also, please stop with the "Please update soon!" part of reviews. I'm not a frequent updater and it's irritating, I know. A lot of my favorite writers don't update pften, but I found patience, so I'm hoping all of you will bear with me too.

And why does everyone assume that I've ended my story? Just because I'm not one of those 'update-with-a-half-baked-chapter' authors doesn't mean I'm done. So, unless I say that the story is done, it's not. Assuming is not what I need right now, not with my grades only being decent, since I have one B that's really pissing me off. So, if you have any questions, ask them. I have no problem letting you guys know what's going on in my time that occupies my actual life and keeps me away from here. I'm really irritated with this place actually, but I continue to write here because I find it easier than LJ and I'm just too lazy to post there. But maybe I will start, considering I can't seem to get anything but criticism here.

Thank you for your understanding. I wouldn't be upset if you did stop reading this fic. If I can't make you guys happy, then I suggest looking for something worth your while.

**Disclaimer**: All rights reserved.

**_Chapter 8: No More Secrets_**

Heartbreak.

Sakura had never experienced it.

After all, wasn't love supposed to be about two people who cared about each other, more than the world could comprehend? Wasn't that the meaning of life, to be with the one person who made you feel whole? Sakura had always assumed that happy endings came with the fairytale. Life should be full of joy, full of everyday miracles and moments that take your breath away. And, although this optimism was rare and impractical, it was also comforting to know that people like that still existed. That, maybe there was hope for the future and their beliefs as humans.

But, the downcast eyes and hunched posture would alarm anyone who saw her. The usually ecstatic girl, who ran across the halls with a lighted smile and cheerful eyes, was no longer on the surface. Instead, she seemed more like the brooding-type, who was too lost within her thoughts to realize that life was bigger than what appeared before her. Her sheltered home had given her little but a vague dream of truth and many honored beliefs.

Her 'love' had always been platonic.

So falling in love with an irritating man was out of the question, right? I mean, love was supposed to be about feelings and your heart pounding against your chest. All he did was make her want to throw a pillow in his face when he made that infuriating smile. Or curse at him when his eyes glittered whenthey met hers, accidently on her part, when she took her time to notice that he wasn't bad looking. And, of course, there were the times when her blush penetrated to her face when hespoke in a hushed tone, letting himself get lost in his thoughts as he told her things that she doubted he'd tell anyone else.

Of course, the only feelings she had was the growing annoyance in the pit of her stomach. The beating of her heart was rushed due to the adrenaline that started when they argued. Nothing more and nothing less. These were simple explanations for a simple problem. So maybe there was some kind of twisted chemistry. That didn't mean she felt anything important, anything worthwhile...

Then why did it feel like her heart just broke in her hands?

* * *

"Did someone die?" was his first question, as Sakura looked up from her tea, looking a little out of place, and somewhat startled. She had hardly recognized anything but her thoughts, though the constant pestering of his presence was still very intact. She had yet to ask him, but doing so seemed like a bad idea. He had probaby heard enough of it, answered questions he never wanted to, but he had not answered hers. They hung in the air between them, and the tension around them was new and incomprehensible. Syaoran was probably between annoyed and worried. 

But, then again, he always seemed to be in a constant tug-of-war with himself.

"Prince Syaoran..." she asked, deciding to stay as polite as she could without sounding like the pounding in her head wasn't beating on her nerves, "Have you ever been in love?"

If he was surprised by the question, he didn't show it. Then again, after that, he didn't look like he showed much more than a bit of nonchalance. It was a drill to him, she thought, because he had been asked these questions beforehand and had answered them as any ruler would. But she didn't want his thoughts as a king. Sakura wanted to hear the person she knew he was. He was always fighting her when it came to what she really wanted to know about the two of them, if there was really anything there at all.

"How much have you heard?" he responded, looking up at her with steeled-eyes, the kind that hid and suffocated any and all emotions. It looked like he didn't want anything to do with this subject, but knew that she was entitled to it because she was his. And, as his, she deserved to know why he had reserved himself from almost everyone since that fateful time four years ago.

And why he was so intent on keeping her close.

"Not much. Just a few details that seem to pop up here and there-"

"I loved her."

The eyes that once stared at the intricate design of the table looked up, widened by such a confession. He said it so clearly, so honestly, that she had to take a second and realize who this man before her was. Prince Xiao Lang was cold-hearted, merciless, and completely guarded, even when she was around he refused to completely soften. He refused to let people past that hard exterior and see him without his invincible strength and outward beauty. He just wasn't that kind of person.

But, this was new. He had never said something so purely, without any spite whatsoever. Even with the fact that this was supposed to be a love that once ran deep and ended in pain, he still looked somewhat glad when he thought of it. His eyes cleared in a sort of dreamy way, and the quirk of his lips that rarely pointed at anyone but his family and her was now directed to a ghost woman of his past. And, hearing it for the first time on his lips, shattered what little hope she held in her.

"She wasn't like the other royals," he began, stirring his tea in reflex, "She was strong, unbreakable, but somehow gentle that it made you want to be with her. Her caring was unparalleled by any other and the very aura around her brought in all kinds of attention, even my own. I won't lie and tell you that my feelings weren't strong because, even now, I still feel something for her."

Syaoran looked at Sakura, who met his eyes with uncertainty, and she shook her head in a shocked disbelief. This wasn't her Syaoran, not the man who hated the world and all in it. This wasn't the king who would rule justly, if not a little cruelly over his people. This heartbroken boy before her was not the person she had spent months trying to crack and understand...

But it was, and she knew that she had lost the war.

* * *

_Sakura's Point of View_

Why, Syaoran?

Why did you have to love her, this other girl who left you? Why does it show that you still feel something for her? She's not here but I can see it in your eyes. I know that emotion only too well. I know what you're feeling, even though that very same feeling is slowly withering away within me. Your words pierced that sensation and its drowning because it was all I had left, all I had to go on.

_Hope_.

I hoped that... maybe, I'd be the one to spark some kind of reaction from you, like the one you're unconsciously showing me. But, I can't have it, this emotion, anymore, can I? Not when you have that glazed look in your eyes or that enlightenment on your face. It's not right for me to love someone whose already in too deep. It's common sense, and I should just walk away to save myself more heartache. But, even as I try and turn my eyes away, wrench them from your own, I felt myself only want to hug you and ease those fears away. Eyes that usually screamed strength and confidence were now littered with pain and unforgotten love.

You were always the type who held the world on your shoulders, expected to be at the top forever and ever. And I always thought that too, completely forgetting that you had a life even before I arrived. After all, you couldn't have been a bastard your entire life, right? No, you must have had something, or someone, that made you this way. I can only guess that she was the reason you turned your back on everyone and everything.

Does that mean I'm just like the rest of them, Syaoran? Am I just another person to turn your back on? I know I have much to learn and a lot more to realize in life, but can't you, for once, let me be a part of yours? You hold back everytime I think I'm starting to understand you. But, Kami forbid, that I'd ever begin to comprehend what goes through your head and heart. Just leave me blind to what truly stirs within you, even though I'm the only one who has the slightest idea on what's really going on.

Why did my first love have to be unrequited?

"You still love her, don't you? Even though she chose to marry to help her family..." I couldn't think of anything else to say. Explanations that I thought were once so simple were now so much more complicated and unwanted. But you just stared, your expression never changing, and answered with a somewhat rueful grin.

"Yes... I don't think I've ever really stopped. I thoughtit was kind of noble, really, to give up everything to help your family."

He let out a half-hearted laugh, and my eyes widened. With my jaw slightly unhinged, I watched as he ran a hand through his hair with a sorrow-filled sigh. Is that why you chose me? Because, in some absolutely random way, I resembled her? In appearance, in attitude, in situations, did I remind you of her? I wanted to laugh too, at that moment, at my stupidity. Now I know why you refused to see me... For you, there is no real me. There is only a shadow of a girl you had loved and I happen to live in her image. That also explains why you get so territorial and refuse to let me leave your side. You wanted to correct the past with a replication of that other girl.

With _me_...

Looking at your face, not even really noticing I sat before you, I broke again. But, this time, I don't think I can repair myself, even as your eyes returned to normal and that earnest aura you gave off eased away.

For some reason, I don't think I'll ever be okay.

* * *

**AN**: Not good at angst. It's not my forte, but I do hope you enjoyed. Please review so I may have some idea of whose still reading this fic. If you have any opinions on this update or my first **AN**, then please let me know and I'll be happy to reply to your comments. However, flames will not be tolerated. Any of them will be put up in the next chapter for others to get an idea of what I'm trying to avoid. Remember, one person can ruin everything and I have no problem deleting this story if it comes to that. So, please, be respectuful or just shut up and back off.

Well, till next time.


	10. Chapter 9: Second Place

**ANOTHER 'READ FOR GOOD HEALTH' and MUST-READ AN**: Good to know that you guys will keep reading, despite the fact that I'm not a big CCS fan anymore. I have tried to keep my promise, and since I'm still fairly interested in this fic, I will opt to continue. So, if you guys have any questions or (useful) comments, review. By the way, I like long, interesting reviews. It makes me want to update. ((grins at stupid motivation plot))

On another note, **I noticed that everyone seems to think I'm still thirteen**. Actually, I started this story about four months before I turned fourteen and am currently fifteen-years-old. My beginning chapters were started when I was thirteen though, which explains my growth through these chapters.

_Something else really got to me again. Someone didn't like my story's characterization of Syaoran because he was nicer than how he was portrayed in the anime and manga. **o.O** Guys, when I say criticism, then I mean something about the actually story. It's obvious that the different plot will make the characters act different! The characters react and are portrayed with unique views in fanfiction depending on the story and author. If you want them "in-character", then read the manga or watch the anime. If I was trying to satisfy everyone's personal likes then I wouldn't be writing at all._

**_Oh, and Syaoran becomes _putty_ in Sakura's hands by the end of the second movie and manga series. I couldn't _make_ him any nicer if I tried._**_ But, in this person's defense, they did like my story. Still, not exactly the best way to comment on something you haven't really thought about, even though it's kind of common sense._

I am rude, sarcastic, but honest. I said I would put up things I didn't like in following chapters. Also, I will literally tell you what I think in my chapters, if I can't get a hold of you through your account or e-mail. Therefore, I suggest that anyone who wants to flame without giving me a direct line to reply to should read my next chapter for a comment. Even if they don't read, at least forty other people will and that's not my problem. Oh, and now that has finally fixed that problem with author's without stories or shown e-mails, I will start to talk to those who don't like how my story is going, even though they have no right to judge it. But, just this once, I'll turn a blind eye.

**Disclaimer**: All rights reserved.

**_Chapter Nine: Second Place_**

_Sakura's POV_

Have you ever tried drowning away your sorrows in food, knowing you were only getting fat and clogging your arteries? Well good, because now I know I'm not the first. You keep trying to fill yourself up, but you're really just occupying your time, letting the seconds tick away. Even after Prince Syaoran left, I sat at that table with little more than the pieces of my heart in my hands.

To understand, I'll have to tell you.

Flashback

Although his eyes had rightfully turned that amber glow, dull but strong, I couldn't help but want to stand up and walk away. I've always heard of the quotes "Living a lie" and "Ignorance is bliss" told between people, but not really understanding what they meant. But I smiled, nodded my head on cue, and pretended that everything was crystal clear. It was so easy to pretend that life was all rainbows and flowers when you saw it through rose-tinted glasses. Everything appeared so much more neutral, but happy at the same time.

Why did I have to learn the hard way?

Still, my questions went unanswered somewhat and, although I loathed to inquire anymore, I did think about doing so. I had nothing to be jealous of because I, in all actuality, had no claim over him, nor had I made any promises aloud or to myself. And, in the end, he had done nothing but be possessive to everyone else _about_ me, but not _to_ me. The few times he stole a kiss or took a chance to look at me, I always noticed he looked at me differently then, as if he had planned to do it but never really expected to actually stare or anything like that.

Then, as always, he would stalk away angry and moody, leaving me with some confusion and feeling stupid. Love really did make fools out of people. After all, fools didn't have to _try_ to be stupid, it was merely something they did, just very often. Is that what I am then, for falling so helplessly in love with this man? A man who was so painfully obvious with his feelings but were misdirected? Am I a fool for believing that he could have cared even slightly in the ways that he pretended to? I sighed and couldn't help but note that hope was talking again, and, as always, leading me into trouble.

So, I didn't ask anymore. Despite the questions on my lips, I ignored him and his presence, instead trying to find some kind of center. The world that I had so carefully built around Prince Xiao Lang, my Master of sorts, had become dust and fallen to my feet without a care. The strength and foundation crumbled when he finally admitted, although indirectly, that he was truly not in love.

At least, not with me.

He left me to my thoughts, since he knew I wouldn't respond to anything he had to say. I suppose he was still in his own stupor. I did hear my name be called a few times, but I couldn't look at him right now. To be honest, I wasn't sure if I could look at him ever again. I just didn't know what to do. Everything I once thought was perfect in my life, even the things that were flawed, was now a lie in my ears and burning truth in my eyes.

Letting the wind take my words away, I began to rant to myself, feeling a little of my insanity creep into the bits of speech. The bitterness flowed and I hated him and his former lover because I knew... I _knew_ I could never forgive him for his game and the leash he tied around me. I can't fogive him and hating him would be so easy, so much more reasonable, since I'm the one who has to deal with it and the sleepless nights ahead.

"I don't get you, Syaoran..." I started, breathless and unrelenting, "If you didn't really want me, then why did you keep playing this game? Why are you still so intent on trying to keep me when you don't even know me? It's not even that! You just _refuse_ to know me. You won't wake up and realize that the girl that tends to your every whim, the one you spend your days with, the one who knows you best is the girl that will _actually_ remain by you, no matter what...

"But I guess that's not me, right?... I mean, if you knew me best then it'd have to be vice versa. Not that I didn't try because, God forbid, that I'd actually figure you out. After all, you had said so many things with actions that I assumed..."

With a sigh, a half-hearted laugh escaped my lips. Perhaps I assumed too much. After all, not every look says 'I love you.' And when hands brush against each other that doesn't mean 'I want you.' Whenever we just sat in a content silence, I suppose it didn't really mean 'I need you', right? No, I guess not. Maybe I'm just too young, too _childish_, for you, Syaoran. Maybe I'm just not strong enough to help balance the world on my shoulders, like you do everyday. I know I'm not perfect, but even perfection _must_ be flawed!

Or maybe, I'm too flawed...

I know I can't help you run a country, and I know I can't give you all that you want. But, dammit, I tried! I really _did _because I thought that you felt something. I really thought I had found true love on the first try. That, although we were so different, we could have made a good pair. Am I wrong for thinking that, Syaoran?

I wonder if this is how you felt when she rejected you. A tired, tattered heart lying on the floor, broken right before your eyes. But you weren't allowed to show your disappointment, your rage, your sorrow, because you are our leader and a leader cannot break. It's not what a king would you. So, you sucked it up and dismissed her, refusing to show any kind of human emotion. You lost any semblance of humanity you had and that's why the people hate you now.

But I _can't_.

It's not possible for me to hate you. Even as I feel the cotton of my kimono against my legs, gripping it in my hands as my fingernails pinched the skin of my thighs beneath it, I can't do it. Hating you, loving you... I suppose it's the same thing to me. I can't do one without the other. I hate you so much for doing this, for tying me down to this level of self-pity and hatred. I hate you for bursting the bubble of my perfect, little world, with things like pain and heartache. I hate you, I _hate_ you...

But I love you at the same time. I love the way your eyes would finally smile at me, even when your lips didn't move. I love our petty arguments, even though we had no idea what was going on during them. And I love the way you let me become a part of myself that I never experienced before. Each time we were together I opened up in ways I never thought were possible and the world was beneath me because I walked above it. You gave me these things.

However, I couldn't do anything in return. Love does this to you, gives you these sensations, but you were never in love. I wonder, though, if I made you feel anything. If I made your heart flutter, even slightly, when I smiled. Or if the world would revolve around just me when we were together. Did you ever wish that our time together would never end? That the world was meant to satisfy us only? Or was that fantasy mine and mine alone?

I suppose I'll never know.

Even as I walked away from our meeting place, our 'home' I suppose, I held my head low and pulled at the dress I wore. Even as my feet pattered against the ground, I held back what I was feeling, refusing to let the reality completely sink in. I'd wait until I was alone to let it out, to let my fury go. It's what you had done before, right? What you did when the other woman left you for her 'noble' cause? You refused to cry.

So, in your footsteps, I did the same.

End Flashback

He hasn't spoken to me since that time. At least, not directly. Other servants would send messages of his bearings. All of his chores had been minor tasks, things that any other could do. I think he's just trying to buy himself some time. He knows that I will approach him if I have nothing to do, along with the thoughts in my mind.

But, right now, I'm not sure if I can. I just don't think I can deal with him anymore.

And never again do I want to.

* * *

**CONTINUED MUST-READ AN**: So bitter and cruel, but heartbreakingly honest. Someone said I'm not good with angst (and I agree), but almost everyone said I did arise some kind of feeling from them. That makes me happy because I never get to do that since all of my fics are fluff. I think, now that I've gotten my point across, I want to write more. This fic has a lot of possibilities and I keep stumbling upon more but I can't write them all. Instead, I'm just going to keep this around 10-15 chapters. I hate long stories, but this will be one. I knew I was a sucker for drama and romance. 

For those who read my **Author's Note** in the last chapter, thank you. I can't even express how glad I am that people were actually paying attention. I got quite a few reviews that said more than "Good job" and "Update soon" in them. You know, the generic ones that everyone gives out to a good story. However, if I want to get better, I need great reviews and different view points. It just makes more sense if I get worthwhile reviews for a worthwhile story.

So, thanks to your efforts, I have updated within a week. Please take this as a Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's gift because I doubt I'll be writing much around final's time and I'll be gone for winter break. I'm going out of the country. ((grins)) If I do, by some miracle, update before then, expect a Syaoran POV chapter. I know someone asked, and I had been planning it, so I guess I will.

Well, till next time.

Much love.


	11. Chapter 10: Never First

**AN**: It's nice to have a lot of people want to read a story. That's why I've decided to put my other story on hiatus just so I can pursue this one. However, my random one-shots will appear in a different series. I'm really a Prince of Tennis fangirl, but I can't find any inspiration to write it. It's kind of irritating really.

Well, now I want to discuss my short chapters. To be honest, I can't write for long periods of time. I really just don't know how. All of my chapters are over two thousand words, but I'm trying to get it to three thousand. However, this will be a long and meticulous process, since I'm constantly adding and cutting at my chapters. I'm never really happy with them, so it's vexing. But, it'll be my new goal so I'll work hard.

Also, some people said this story reminded them of _Inu Yasha_ and, yeah, I agree. It's hard not to fall for the easy cliches and go with another storyline. However, I'm going to try and keep this as original as possible, even though, since CCS has so many other stories, it'll be hard to try and surprise you guys. Believe me, it's difficult. Also, on the ending, I am seriously contemplating between two very different ones. However, you'll have to see what I choose in the end. Therefore, this may or may not end up like the fluff fics you guys usually read. Really, I just want to see how much I can abuse these characters because their almost-perfect relationship in the series really shouldn't look as perfect as it seems. (Yes, I am a sadist and proud of it!)

**Warning**: Nothing really here, execpt an overload of angst in the beginning.

**Disclaimer**: All rights reserved.

_**Chapter Ten: Never First**_

_Syaoran's POV_

Don't look at me like that...

I can see it, the shock at hearing my voice actually declare something so vital. I'd never said that to anyone other than her, but now you know why. She had only heard it once, and never have I forgotten the woman who had loved me, and I her. But, she's living her own life with another man, even if it's not by choice. She left me here, disregarded my feelings, and I was the one who has hadto live with that for the last four years.

You thought I was cruel when you first met me, manipulative and merciless. The things that a tyrant, not a king, would be. Have I surprised you at all, or am I still such a cold beast? I watched the steam escape from the teapot, as you stared vacantly at the table in return. I can't meet your eyes, nor do I expect you to meet mine. After all, I knew your heart was breaking, could see the glass of your soul shatter in those mirror-like eyes.

But you wouldn't let me know that if you could have helped it, right?

Your name left my lips, without even thinking. But, I called you again, pretending that you might have actually responded to my calls. You didn't, though, so I stood up and gave you one last look. However, you turned away, as if in shame, and I left with a sigh. Believe me, Sakura, if I could take back what I felt all those years ago, I would. Not just for me, but also because maybe then I would have had the chance to love you the way I _know_ you care for me.

But I won't pretend that my feelings have shifted in a new direction, towards you. It's true, I do feel something, but it's not the same emotion I felt for her. The way I cared for her was passionate, boundless, something that only a first love could bring. She opened my eyes to the world beyond my enclosed settings. She showed me an entirely new universe, not just a kingdom, everytime we met, though it's been too long now. The way I once thought was changed by the way she taught me. I learned that the world wasn't about my homeland, but about the people who lived in it. She changed me, and I loved her for it. Hell, I still love her for it.

I know it's selfish, to want to be with her even now, but haven't I always been such a person? I remember you were scared the first time you met me, but you held your head high and refused to show it, though your eyes said more than enough. I wanted to chuckle at you then. Your innocent eyes showed much more than you gave them credit for. But I couldn't critcize the way you handled it, or everything else I've thrown at you. You were prideful, strong, things that I find admirable in anyone.

But that doesn't mean I love you, or _can_ love you as anything more than a confidant. It's cruel, isn't it? To want something so bad, to have it dangling before your eyes, and just when you think it's yours, you find out it's a trick, an illusion. The object you waited, wanted, was not yours to have. You were merely strung along because you were there, an easy target, like a cat to a piece of string. And do you know whose on the other end, just waiting for you to try and steal it?

Fate.

It mocks us, for we are one in the same. We have both been abused, taken for granted, and left on the sidelines by our first loves. And, even though I could save you, help you back on your feet, that wouldn't change anything. How I feel and how I care for you would stay the same. Our relationship would merely go downhill and then there would be nothing to stop you from falling into a neverending blackhole. Believe me, if I could have stayed by my love's side over being here, I would have joined her, even if I couldn't have her. At least she was near.

I suppose that's rather presumptious of me, though, since I never had the choice, nor do I know your circumstances or feelings. I wish I could ask you, but that would be even more insensitive, now wouldn't it? I felt a bark of laughter pass roughly through my mouth because, really, how could I be any more cruel? I know heartbreak, Sakura, and you're one of the chosen few I've ever told. This subject has been labeled 'taboo' but you, more than anyone, need to know why I am the way I am, why I changed into the ice king that everyone else sees me as...

And why I can't love you.

The truth hurts. It always does. I wish that I could support you, though, and shelter you from the onslaught of shame and guilt I know you're feeling. After all, I've held and harbored those feelings for such a long time. After a while, it just weighs heavy on your heart and you begin to forget why you should ever fall in love again. Then, you end up holing yourself in and allowing no one near. It's bitter, but true.

But I won't do that to you, break you and then give you a false sense of hope that I might actually change my mind. I'm sorry, Sakura, but walls aren't built overnight, nor will they fall for the tears of someone who stands outside of it. I blocked myself in but, due to some strange sort of hope, a selfish part of me wants you to keep smiling, to keep loving, to keep living, despite the things I've put you through. I know it's selfish for me to want for you, but, if I could help it, I'd never allow you to fall into my kind of depression.

However, I can't tell you to do such a thing. All I can do is hope that you'll understand where I'm coming from, even if I can only let you know with words alone. Wishing is what I have to do now, and pray your light doesn't wither and fade away. I never want those emerald eyes to go dull. The part of you that reminds me of my former lover, but also separates you between her and any other woman. No matter what anyone says, your orbs are uniquely your own. They glitter and shine in ways only you have, and have, I admit, caught me off-guard on more than one occasion. You are you, and I understand that.

Though you may remind me of her, and bring out different feelings like she once had, you will never be her. I will never make that mistake because I care for you both in very different ways. I can't pretend that she was never near, nor can I ever take back our meeting. The emotions you both induced in me, and the things you both made me feel, are strange, new, but not the same. You deserve to fall in love with someone who can love you back, the way I can't. Sakura, you need someone who can take care of you, even if it means that you have to leave me.

Just like she did.

* * *

_Third Person POV_

The days between Sakura and Syaoran had passed with little notice between each other. There was almost no contact between them, making it painfully obvious to everyone in the castle that they weren't on good terms. As if it weren't enough that Syaoran snapped at anyone who even mentioned the slightest thing that could remind him of her, Sakura was caught in a very blurred state. Her smiles, if there were any at all, were distant, melancholy, looks. They weren't at all like the energetic girl that had graced their halls only a week ago.

So, of course, no one mentioned the other's name when in the presence of the prince or his servant. One reason was fear of making the girl break down crying, the way she pretended she didn't do in the depths of night. For Prince Xiao Lang, it was just out of fear. Either way, they were both not in the mood to deal with each other and no one was about to push them together just yet. Instead, they turned their cheeks the other way and kept their mouths shut.

Sakura carried on her duties, cleaning and tending to the garden that had become a place of pleasure and pain for her. Although she usually worked with the other servants, she distanced herself to help regain a piece of mind and some time to think. However, this time, she wasn't alone, she soon found out, when one of the newer maids, a girl who had seen only thirteen summers, approached her with a nervous smile. Deciding she wouldn't scare her away, Sakura returned the grin with her own and and patted the place next to her, as she continued to soak the dirtied clothes in the small stream.

"Good afternoon, Lady Sakura," the girl said, her voice meek with eyes as uncertain as her voice. The laughter that bubbled in the other woman's throat came out in bits of giggles, as Sakura waved her hand at the other's formal address. No one had referred to her as such in quite a while, and even then it had been sporadically.

"Please drop the 'Lady', for I am no such thing here. I am a servant to my... _master_," she said, hearing her voice become a little nostalgic as she said the last word. The younger girl caught it, but made no move to console her. It would be pointless to anyway. Sakura wouldn't accept anything that even resembled pity, sympathy, or advice. She wanted to deal with it on her own, a noble, but stupid, thing to do.

"A-ah... All right, Sakura-'san', then," she teenager tried, her voice unsteady and clumsy. Still, she tried to make Sakura feel more at home, which made her feel a little better. After becoming so detached from everyone else, she couldn't keep a conversation going like she used to. She had tried not to notice the soft feeling of dread taking her senses whenever someone tried to keep a steady conversation. Usually, though, it ended with abandonment, due to their lack of understanding and her own defensiveness. After all, talking with a depressed person wasn't much fun.

Sakura nodded a little, in affirmation to the girl's choice of title, before going back to her laundry without really minding the other. Instead, the servant girl occupied herself by taking her laundered load and folding the clothes, before placing them in stacks. This continued for a while, the minutes that passed went unnoticed, until the teenager spoke up.

"I know this may be rude..." she began, fiddling with the collar of a shirt she just finished folding. Sakura looked at her curiously, as she took her wet clothes and placed them in a bubbling basin to scrub them. "But, I was wondering, what happened between you and Prince Xiao Lang?"

Covering her mouth, as if what she said had come out wrong, Sakura smiled softly. The girl was either very brave or very stupid for asking such a question, knowing the topic was a big no-no for the staff's usual gossip. Looking at the younger girl, she smiled fully, forcing her cheeks to do the motion, knowing it was not quite a smile. It was a painful thing to do, and she knew that the younger girl could tell. It was a sign that her energy, her boundless amounts of energy, couldn't cover up the pain that still filled her, due to news that hurt her.

"What's your name?" Sakura asked, knowing she had never properly asked, like a noblewoman would, but she had given up on trying to be such a thing here. Blushing, the young girl stuttered an apology for her rudeness and replied with an embarrassed squeak.

"K-kailin..." she said with a bow of her head, making Sakura nod at her, ignoring her nervousness.

"Well, Kailin-san, to be honest, I don't think it's any of your business."

"I-I know," she said quickly, a little offended at Sakura's bluntness but brushed it off, "but some people guess that it's some kind of lover's spat. Others say you're just having a rough patch, while the rest say the both of you hate each other. I don't want to keep guessing if it'll, in the end, offend both of you when we figure out whose right..."

She looked up, a little surprised in Kailin's reply, but pleased to here honest words. Really, it was nice to know that there were others who cared enough to stay out of their business, long enough until either she or Syaoran was willing to explain. However, that man would never divulge this kind of information, so the only one with the entire story was herself, and even then she had no idea what to tell the others, who waited patiently.

"Is it really that important?" she sighed, staring at the bubbly water before her. A quick nod was her reply, and she sighed again, feeling the story reach her lips. They were going to figure it out sooner or later, so rushing the process wouldn't be the worst thing to do.

So she told Kailin everything.

* * *

That night, the castle was buzzing with talk. The young girl had given everyone an inside report, which carried on throughout the castle. The embelishments made were uncontrollable, so Sakura didn't bother to correct anything she heard in the corridors or the rooms. In fact, after her little story was told, it seemed like more people shied away from her, as if to give her space. Although very kind, it began to get irritating when everyone deserted the room, in hopes of giving her some "alone time." 

She also noticed that Syaoran was avoided as well, which perplexed him. She had been spying from a corner, trying to stay out of his line of vision, when he asked two unsuspecting maids why everyone seemed to be vanishing whenever he appeared. Although scared, and a bit starstruck, they explained everything that they heard from the various workers through the castle. Sakura noted, with a tinge of pride and a bit of fear, that Prince Syaoran became more irate with every word he heard. He hushed them with his hand and told them to alert the castle to find his servant and bring her to his chambers.

As he stormed away, Sakura held her breath when he passed by her, silently fuming. She would have felt bad, seeing his fists tightened and jaw clenched, but then she remembered why she had spent so much time trying to hide from him. After all, he was the cause of all the ruckus anyway, even though she was in the center as well.

Sometimes she wondered why life couldn't just try and humor her.

Slipping out of her hiding place, knowing that the servant girls had already ran in the other direction to give the prince's orders, Sakura slipped onto a balcony. Thankfully, no one could really see her from any window. Instead, she planned to hide out and try to escape his highness's radar. Neither tonight nor ever would she be able to face him again without feeling her heart shatter into a million pieces, and, as long as she could prevent it, she would delay the inevitable.

* * *

**AN**: Merry (late) Christmas, Happy New Year's, and best holiday wishes. Lucky for you guys, this was out after Christmas but before the New Year's. I think that should count for something. I've gotten so much praise for this story and I really wish I could thank you all for your support, but it's really not that simple. But, since I can say it, thank you from the bottom of my heart, and let's hope that everything in the next year goes well. 

Well, till next time.

Much love.

(**P.S.** I got to 3000 words! I will work hard to make sure it gets to 3500 next time.)


	12. Chapter 11: Turn Back Time

**AN**: I know, I know. I haven't updated. I can't exactly say I'm sorry because I'm not, but if you do like the story then please read forward and forget that you had to wait several months for this to appear. That, or you can dwell on it instead of actually appreciating the fact that I decided to update at all. Your choice.

Oh, and I'd like to thanks to Fantasia and wackywang. Both of you gave such insightful reviews that made me want to at least attempt to continue. But whether or not I actually finish in the time that anyone wants is a whole other story.

**Warnings**: Some angst.

**Disclaimer**: All rights reserved.

_Chapter Eleven: Turn Back Time_

Hiding out on the balcony all day wasn't going to dissuade Prince Syaoran from finding his servant. She knew that, and he knew she knew that. They'd have to find her because, really, getting the entire household and his family worked up over a private matter was completely outrageous. Of course, he didn't expect her to keep the secret a secret, but he also didn't think she'd say it to the first person who asked. And yet, just like the many other things in his life, Syaoran was wrong and easily thrown for a loop when things didn't quite go his way.

What would he say to her? What _could_ he say to her? He was the one who told her those things, told her that love wasn't an option for him anymore. She had accepted it with a mindless nod and had silently told him that nothing could change that. She couldn't change him, so she wouldn't try to. She had far too much pride to just let herself keep thinking that, even if it hurt. To Syaoran, without his first love, there was no point in loving anyone else anymore. He'd given up on trying to find it, and he knew that love had given up on trying to give it to him.

Except in her.

Except Sakura.

Of course, Syaoran didn't know that, when he first decided to keep her as his own, he'd start to care. It was undeniable that she was beautiful and strong-willed, if not very naive. But she always held her ground when it came to him. With her, the moments were never dull, never tiresome, always full of life. He hadn't believed that he could smile as widely, or laugh so loud, without the first person who made his hear flutter. And, unfortunately, that woman was the only one who would ever make him feel that way.

So he pushed everything away, locked himself into his own ivory tower, and looked onto the world with little sympathy or worth. To him, everything was another obstacle. There was nothing good about life because the one thing that had any benevolence was gone. How was he supposed to know that there was more than one source of light in someone's life? How was he supposed to know he'd love another woman?

Easy. He didn't.

Sakura was everything he wasn't. She never had the dark cloud above her head or the shadows beneath those green eyes. There were no secrets to her. Whatever she had was all you saw and it was refreshing, intoxicating even. She scared him sometimes because not even his old lover had been so natural. For a while, he wondered if she was really as innocent as she seemed. And, when he found out, he surprised himself by wanting to protect this girl. He wanted to secure her away so she may never lose those haunting eyes that saw everything and reflected all.

Maybe that was why he had taken her first kiss. It had to have been her first, he knew, because her eyes showed only fear, with little understanding. He had expected her to fight, to cry even, but she didn't and that was what made him realize that she was different. She wasn't just a noblewoman, nor was she just his servant. She was a girl with her own agenda and had, without knowing it, ensnared him with a fiery spirit and kind eyes.

There were many times Syaoran had thought about her, and wondered about whether or not she was worth chasing after. He had lost so much after one try. Losing again wasn't an option he was going to stand for, but he knew there was no way to control it. Either he was going to have to accept Sakura as everything, or ask her for nothing. Because, in the end, he knew it wasn't fair to have her presence and her joy without offering his heart in return. This torn heart was one he knew he didn't completely own.

There were still lingering pieces locked in a past far he could never undo.

* * *

"This isn't working..." the woman murmured to herself, watching carefully from the shadows of the moonlit sky. A girl could only stay on a balcony for so long. Someone was bound to find her before curfew. Why prolong the agony she new was bound to happen? 

_Because he's going to say something you never wanted to hear._

Her eyes clenched close, as her hands balled into fists. She was shaking, out of anger or frustration, she wasn't sure. All she knew was that there was something wrong, and nothing could be done about it. Her brother had always said she'd fall for the impossible ones, the ones who would see past her pretty face and into her heart. But, those were the ones who either had a lover of their own, or had experienced trauma themselves. Only those with strong character and ability were able to see through her because, contrary to popular belief, she held a lot of herself in. Feelings that don't belong, thoughts that weren't supposed to see the light of day, were all locked into her heart because, she doubted, that anyone would want to dig that deeply into her head.

But she couldn't hold everything, could she? She couldn't just keep pretending that the emotions that arose weren't there. Pain was something new to her. Before all of this, before falling in love, she only needed her family and her friends. What else could anyone offer her? Loneliness was always at her shoulder, though, when she noticed smiling couples amongst the crowd of people, or even among her closest confidantes. All of them had someone to lean on, to cry on, to yell at, and to be cared for by.

When had she become so isolated?

Opening the door to the balcony, she slipped in and noticed there was no one around. Of course, she was going to have to see Syaoran, regardless of her own wants, so anyone telling her to do would have been wasting their time and hers. She wanted to hear the echoes of her own footsteps, the swish of her skirt, even the noise of her shallow breathing, but she couldn't. The pulsing of the blood in her veins and drum of her heart made everything less than what it was. Her body just walked, as if in a trance, before stopping at the door of an unfamiliar room.

Without thinking, or even noticing she had moved at all, Sakura knocked on the door, cringing when she knew he had heard her. His deep voice carried through the wood and wrapped itself around her. She wanted to laugh at herself because believing anything that voice said was a cruel joke. His power was untamed and it reigned over her as if she were a dog to her owner.

What a fitting comparison.

She opened the door slowly, only wide enough for her slender frame to move through, before slamming the door shut, as if something was going to escape from the study. All that was in the room remained unmoved. The books on the shelves and the cushioned furniture were impassive to her presence. The only thing that had even seemingly acknowledged her was the ringing of the clock, which showed that night was evidently present.

She approached the man who sat in the arm chair, his dark brown hair brushing against amber eyes. His mouth rested along his fist, as his elbow supported his head. He looked past her, as if she weren't even standing before him. She could feel animosity roll of his shoulders and onto her own. What could he be upset about? She was here, wasn't she?

"You asked for me, Your Highness?" The defensive tone of her voice was there. It was her only shield against anything Syaoran might say or do. The protection he once offered wasn't hers to have anymore.

"You're late." Piercing dark eyes met hers, and Sakura almost wilted beneath his stare. But she persevered, and didn't let him see too much of her. She was still raw from his earlier confession, and too scared to confront him about it. There was nothing she cold do but wade out her fears, as he gazed with no compassion.

"I know. Please forgive me tardiness. I hadn't known you sent for me." An obvious lie and Syaoran knew it. He made no move to correct her, though she had a feeling he already had all the answers sorted out.

"Sakura-san," he addressed, his formalcy foreign to her. She could feel the sting on her skin, but Sakura withstood it. After all, they were nothing more than a master and servant.

"I know about your feelings for me."

Well, that was blunt.

Straightening up, Sakura's gaze hardened as she looked away from the prince. She replied, "And what of them? They haven't gotten in anyone's way, so I see no need in bringing them up. As long as I do my job, and as long as you don't return them, then nothing can go wrong, right?"

"You shouldn't be so hasty, Sakura-san," Syaoran said, glaring a little more darkly. "You have no idea how much ruckus there has been in the castle because of these unquelled feelings. I won't have disorder in my home."

"I can't change what what I feel." _I don't know how to stop caring._

"I'm not asking you to."_ We could never work, and you know it._

"Then what do you expect me to do?" _What do you want from me?_

"Whatever you need to do to stop this madness." _Everything I can't give you in return._

The silence stretched between them, but questions and answers were still in the air. They kept their silent dialogue going, back and forth between them. There was no winner, only two losers.

_Please tell me what I need to do._

_I can't._

_Then how am I supposed to forget these feelings, and you?_

_I don't know._

_Then what am I doing here right now? Why are we debating over something that we both know?_

_You're here because you needed closure, and I needed to give it to you. There is no more to discuss_.

Syaoran stood up, brushing against Sakura's shoulder with irrational sorrow. She never noticed the pain in his eyes, never saw how tight his jaw was clenched in anger. All she saw was the blurring of the moonlit window of the study. But, she still had one more question he needed to answer, to completely wipe him from her thoughts.

"Did you ever really love me?'

His footsteps stopped at the door, as he held the knob beneath his hand. He waited, as if in thought, as she turned to his shadowed form. His back was to her, so she saw none of the impassive look in his eyes or the way he seemed to argue with himself. All she wanted was a simple answer to a not-so-simple question. There was no way around his answer.

"Yes..." he began. "And no. I did love you, Sakura, and, even now, I know there's something inside of me that says I could be happy with you, forever.

"But that part also says that we could have been perfect for each other, I mean, really perfect, if I had only met you first. There are too many 'maybe's in the world, Sakura. Ours, this _relationship_, is one of them; one that was never meant to be."

* * *

**AN**: Yeah, yeah, hate me. I really don't care. The ending is still up in the air, though. As you can see, I'm definitely leaning toward the sad one, but it probably won't be. I just like to torture you guys. Reviews make me happy. Scratch that. GOOD REVIEWS make me happy. Just so you know.

Well, till next time.


	13. Chapter 12: Knowing His Past

**AN**: I apologize for my absence. Unfortunately, I am no longer securely devoted to anime anymore, and have found other things that occupy my writings. I will do my best to end this as soon as possible, so none of you will have to sit in suspsense. Once again, I am sorry, especially if the story ends up rushed in the end.

Oh, and about the ending. I will guarentee that the initial ending will be sad. However, for those of you who are indeed in love with the happy ones, I will do an epilogue that will put some positive closure on it all. But, my work comes when it comes, depending on my muses.

**_Warnings_**: Introduction of a new character and more angst.

**_Disclaimer_**: All rights reserved.

_Chapter 12: Knowing His Past_

One day can measure into an eternity; one moment can change a life.

But, of course, Kinomouto Sakura already knew that.

In her hometown, surrounded by people who knew her and others that didn't, there were never any dark spots. There were rough patches, several since she was of marrying age, but things only dimmed, never faded away. And yet, here she was, away from that place and now shrouded in a melancholy darkness. Her rejection was only to be expected. After all, love only came once for people, so this must not have been hers.

"This is ridiculous..." Sakura murmured to herself, as she sat on her bed with her mind hurting and her heart in pieces. In the darkness of her room, she reasoned with herself, letting the words she couldn't say before seemingly echo in her small, empty sanctuary.

"I knew this was going to happen. I knew from the moment I saw him that he was trouble. That ego, those eyes, that kiss... He stole my first kiss..." Sakura could barely choke down a surfacing sob, feeling it rack against her shoulders rather than escape into the air. She help back all of her emotions, still afraid that someone might judge her, despite her privacy.

"She must have really been amazing," she continued, letting her eyes pool with tears, but never did she let them fall. Her emotions were hers to control now that she had no one playing with them or taking advantage of them.

Or anyone to give them to.

"She must have been sweet, since no one could have melted a heart like his by just being pretty. She must have been even more gorgeous than any exotic beauty because even Syao..._ Master._ Master fell for her charms. And her eyes must have been similar to mine. I wonder if we have anything else in common." _Besides a certain man._

Sakura chuckled at herself, amused by the fact that she would even continue pondering the subject. Obviously the topic was closed off from discussion, a new taboo to add to Syaoran's first love. She had always wondered why people wrote poems, moping about how love made them the person that they are: bitter and filled with contempt. She had no idea that people could harbor hate for such a long time, especially over something as trivial as a once-in-a-while feeling.

Had she really been so naive?

"It doesn't matter now..." she murmured, twisting the cloth of the dress in her hands. And it didn't. She refused to sob over a man who had done nothing to help her; a man who had kidnapped her away from her family and forced her into servitude. She should hate him, hate him with every fiber of her moral being, even if it was distinctively out-of-character for her. She should at least feel something like resentment, right?

But she didn't, and perhaps it was better that way. Instead of flutter butterflies, there was only a dead weight in her stomach. Instead of shying away whenever he would glance at her, she would merely ignore it. After all, a master does not live to serve his maids, but vice versa. She promised herself to continue the God foresaken routine and pretend that she wasn't carrying the world on her shoulders. She wasn't going to let the entire world know that she was rejected by a man who had done nothing but hurt her from the beginning. She wouldn't let fate have the satisfaction of knowing that it had, in fact, won. Perhaps this was punishment for turning down so many suitable fiances, but she very much doubted that. She had not done anything so cruel except turn them away when they asked for a trophy wife. She was no such thing.

Her thoughts continued on like this, well into the evening. She was not summoned for dinner nor any chores. Knowing the castle, they were all probably talking about it and thought she was in her bed crying. Instead, she was leaning against the windowsill in her room, eyes dry, but heart and mind heavy. Over and over she chanted that she would not love him. He did not deserve her and she would find someone better.

But the very sentences were poison on her lips, which was why she merely thought them. To speak them would only make them true, but, the thing was, they weren't, and they probably never would be. He was more than enough for her, but he had someone in the back of his mind. She could have almost everyone, except the one she wanted. Ironic, no? There was nothing more to say or do, but carry on and act as if they had always been strangers.

Maybe, in some ways, they always had been.

* * *

The next day, everyone spoke softly to her and about her. They seemed to forget that Sakura was neither blind nor dumb, and that she fully understood them, despite the espionage-like whispers. She was constantly checked on and rarely left alone. It was only noon when she found herself ready to pull her hair out of her head. She was a grown woman. If she wanted to hide everything inside, then they should respect that and leave her alone. Obviously, she wasn't being straighforward enough.

So, when lunch rolled around, she grabbed food and headed out to the garden. No one was ever there, and if there were people, it was usually her or Syaoran...

Suddenly, she wasn't very hungry.

She could see him sitting on a stone bench, documents in his hand, quietly reading over them. Her first instinct was to flee, but then where would she go? Certainly not back to all those pouting stares and silent apologizes. It was one thing to feel sympathy towards a person, but to pity him or her enough to actually make them run away was certainly a new low. And it was lunchtime, so she had every right to eat at the place she tended to the most.

Despite knowing this, she settled herself alongside a tree and took out her food. As long as she pretended he wasn't there, then she could eat without her heart shattering in her ears. After all, if he could look normal and composed, then she certainly could. She wasn't going to lose to him, not anymore.

She couldn't help the thoughts that swum in her head, as she ate almost angrily. One would have to ask what the poor bread did to her, but then that would mean have to approach her, and it was doubtful that anyone would with the scowl on her features. So engrossed in stuffing herself and trying to reign in her anger, she didn't even notice the third person in the garden until a soft voice seemed to shatter any barrier in the vicinity.

"It's been a long time, hasn't it, Syaoran?" A small giggle met the air as the sound of paper falling to the floor was heard. Knowing that it was probably a bad idea and yet unable to stop herself, Sakura managed to get on her knees and see over the bush that had hidden her so well. All she could see was a shocked prince staring up, looking at an elegant woman, whose back was turned towards Sakura.

"Minami..." _Who was this girl?_

"Syaoran," she continued, taking a seat on the bench beside him. Her face was still turn away from Sakura's own direction, so she cursed to herself. But, the next second, the other woman turned to stare forward and downward to the ground. The profile caused the young girl to gasp, as she stumbled back and away from the two others.

That woman also had emerald green eyes.

* * *

**AN**: Comments are appreciated, just like constructive criticisms, but no flames. I don't care if you don't like what I'm writing about or how I update. All I want to hear about is the storyline and my writing in general. Please leave one if you are still looking forward to more. I'll gauge the next update on the amount I receive. 

Also, the next chapter will most likely be the last chapter, just before the epilogue. Be prepared.

Much love.


	14. Chapter 13: Taking the Plunge

**AN:** I am back! Now before I get any comments or complaints about my lateness/absence, I'd like to thank those of you who still have interest in this story. Unfortunately, I fell out of love with anime a few years ago and now I am slowly finding my way back. And, if anyone wanted to ask,** I will finish this story.** This is the second-to-last chapter, but my ending isn't quite formed yet. But, even if this does not live up to everyone's expectations, I think this story deserves an ending, despite the fact that I still can't quite write it as I intended for it to be. I just hope you all can find something good about it when it's finished. So, without further ado, please enjoy the story. :)

* * *

_Sakura's POV_

_What exactly have you gotten yourself into, Kinomouto?_ I thought nervously, inwardly bashing myself in the head. This was a private conversation, something I knew never to interrupt or eavesdrop on. But my only escape route was to run to the side entrance, which sadly enough wasn't covered by any foliage and left me too easily to be caught by someone, specifically a certain golden-eyed prince.

_I've suffered enough humiliation for one lifetime. Couldn't he have spared me the rest of my pride and chosen to have this little conversation elsewhere?_ It comes off sounding bitter and selfish in my ears, but I was tired of being the saint. No one tiptoed around the prince in fear of embarrassing him, and no one felt the need to bite their tongues whenever he entered a room because they were gossiping about him being dumped. No, that honor belonged to me and me only, and it seemed that I was the only one who would bear the brunt of this… affair? No, that wasn't it. That would mean that it was a mutual relationship, as forbidden as it was, and it definitely most definitely wasn't.

Settling my skirts, I made myself comfortable on the ground, trying my best not to make noise in their silence. Drawing any kind of attention now would practically be suicide, and as I tried my best to be considerate (more for his guest than His Highness), I found myself wondering just who this woman was. And, as I felt the deep thundering of my heart, I had a distinct sentiment that I knew deep down exactly who she was.

"You look well," the distinct voice of the woman spoke, soft in her nobility and grace. I flinched a little at it, hearing the light tone of affection rather than the unadulterated respect that was the usual tenor used to address Prince Syaoran. That was the sound of a woman who was familiar with this man, someone who knew his mood swings and tempers and handled them with ease. If I hadn't been holding up this façade for so long, I had a feeling I'd be breaking down little by little because of it. Perhaps Syaoran's callousness wasn't as unwarranted as I thought.

"Thank you. You as well," the dark-haired prince replied, looking up at her with distinctly wide eyes and offering the other seat next to him. For some reason, the bottom of my stomach seemed to fall out when she took it, and I could feel myself curl into a ball. It was something of a defense mechanism, a habit I couldn't help but do when faced with an inner battle. Sometimes I hoped that if I made myself small enough, I'd disappear and no one would find me. It was only a wish however, as they started talking in that all too familiar, almost secretive way.

"I've been very well. Tell me, how have you been?"

"Fine." _Liar,_ I can't help but think. Luckily the word doesn't pass my lips or I'd draw unwanted notice my way. "I've been looking into a few new legislations that I want to implement before the year is over."

"While that's all well and good," the woman name Minami began, her voice having endless patience but her eyes tell him something else entirely, "I wasn't asking about work. I wanted to know how _you_ were doing, Syaoran."

A breath catches in my throat, and it only solidifies what I already assumed. Few people outside of his family were allowed to address him so informally, and she did it as if it was as natural as breathing, blinking, living. So this was the girl who had captured Prince Syaoran's heart and left it on the wayside soon after. Something likened to jealousy sits heavy where my stomach used to be, as well as a feeling of resigned resentment. This girl was the cause of all his anger and heartache, and indirectly the cause of mine as well. It makes bitter tears well in my eyes. It was so much easier to hate a shapeless figure, a person with no face or name. Now, the fury was tangible in my veins, and I couldn't help but wonder how Syaoran stayed so calm.

But, then again, he was in love with her so perhaps it wasn't such a mystery.

"I don't know what you mean," he answered after a brief silence. I didn't intend to watch, let alone listen, to their conversation, but I noticed that there was a small hole in the hedge that allowed me to peak in on them. It felt awfully similar to voyeurism, but I couldn't hold back that inkling of curiosity I had. If I was going to break one rule of etiquette, I might as well break them all while I was at it.

"Yes, do you. You just like to pretend you don't because the answers always make you uncomfortable."

And uncomfortable he seemed because he turned his head away, his features twisting into a mask of displeasure. It was startlingly easy for her to get a reaction out of him, and I can feel that inferiority complex rear its ugly head. She knew him, really understood his character, and the only way that was possible was because he had shown himself to her once. At most, I had seen glimpses of his discomfort, flashes of his softness, but nothing like this raw demonstration of emotion. And it hurt to admit that I was truly second to someone this remarkable.

"They say it's rude to argue with royalty," he grumbled, making eye contact with that air of authority he enjoyed using.

"Then it's good that I don't follow rules quite as strictly as you do, or I would be terribly embarrassed right now." Her answer was as easygoing as her serene face, not looking the least put out by his words. But her joking was placed aside as she adopted a harder gaze. "I mean it, Syaoran. How are you? Are you well?"

"As well as one can be," he replied with a shrug, that shield of ice coming up to protect him, as if sensing her as a threat. I could see her sigh, as she seemed to realize exactly what he was doing as well and it was only a little more heartbreaking to see her read him so easily.

"Then there's nothing going on? Nothing with your family? No problems with your friends?" She paused thoughtfully, adding a bit of drama before her next question.

"What about a girl in your life?"

I stiffened, trying my best to steel myself for his answer. It wasn't fair how I never could seem to catch a break. Not only was I reeling from his rejection from the last few days, now I had to hear him say it again and to the girl of his dream too. _There's no justice in the world_, I wordlessly glowered, watching as his face hardened.

"There's nothing and no one." It certainly hadn't hurt as much as I thought it would, probably because he had said it enough times that it stopped being a sharp stab and was now closer to a dull ache. I could feel the smile make its way on my face; strangely enough, it was the normal reaction I had to anything that came my way. If I was happy, I smiled. If I was sad, I smiled. If I was frustrated, I smiled. No matter the feeling, it would always be my go-to expression. There was some comfort in it, knowing that even though everything around me could change in a heartbeat I wouldn't change so easily.

"Is that so?" Minami hadn't sounded so convinced, but she let it slide for the time being.

"What are you doing here anyway? Aren't you supposed to be with your husband?" His tone was even, masking away any distaste he might have for the spouse or even her marriage in general. I watched as she seemed to brighten at the mention of her significant other, and how his fell just the slightest bit. Unbidden my heart hurt for a completely different reason.

"He's out on an expedition," she explained, as she leaned over to dip her fingers into the clear water of the fountain. "He has some trading to be done up north and left a few days ago. He should be back next week, but I decided to get into some mischief while he was gone."

"Am I an excuse for you to make mischief?" he asked, but there was no heat, only the sound of resignation and maybe just a hint of mild playfulness. It was strange how easily his emotions came out when she was near, how unbelievably easy it was to get him to follow her like a child does his mother.

Her eyes glittered. "Only a small one."

From here they lapsed into an easy silence, the kind that only those of close companions could share. If anyone else had seen them, it would probably look like a moment between lovers. Instead, I felt even more obtrusive and I do my best to find some way to get out from behind this damned bush. _A heart is a fickle thing_, I surmised, as I realized that my heart went out to these two once-lovers. Spotting a large enough tree in the distance, I notice that I could get down to the open air hallways without them seeing if I was careful enough. Rustling up my courage, I squatted down and took the baby steps as I hunched, hoping that my feet didn't make nearly as much noise as I thought. But one little sentence stopped me before I could get away.

"Please tell me you're happy, Minami." And there it was again, the blatant display of emotion that Prince Xiao Lang had never shown anyone, not even me. It was a desperate plea, as if her answer would justify all his reasons for letting her go. "Tell me… Did I do the right thing?"

"I am happy, Syaoran, very much so." It was no practiced line, no hint of acting, just the honest admission of a woman and wife. Despite my better judgment, I looked back over the hedge, managing a decent shot at Syaoran's face. My heart fluttered at the mix of relief and self-directed anger battling there, a myriad of things he could not say. And then the feeling in my chest started to clench, the burden of unrequited love feeling much heavier all of a sudden.

Without another thought, I ran my course without looking back.

* * *

_Third Person's POV_

A knock on the door sounded.

"Come in," he replied in a rather gruff voice. He didn't even look up at whoever entered the study, as the door shut and the sound of footsteps approached the desk.

"Excuse me, Your Highness." He stopped for a second, placing his pen down and taking a deep breath before lifting his gaze to hers. Those hauntingly memorable eyes looked down at him, devoid of that trademark glassiness she always seemed to sport. Instead they were closer to a dull jade than the lively emerald, but there was no wonder as to why. He was, after all, the one who made them that way.

It had been nearly two weeks since they'd spoken. Other than an order or a passing of a message, they rarely came in contact. He supposed it had to do with Minami's visit, since the entire castle had been regaling the tale to one another as soon as she entered the building. No doubt Sakura would have come across the gossip mongers, waiting to tell her with both interest and the vaguest sense of pity. And while he hadn't liked the idea of Sakura finding out that way, he also knew it was not his job to protect her. Going out of his way to do so would do more harm than good, he told himself, as he consciously let the distance gather between them.

He didn't want to admit it, but seeing Minami again had raised some questions in his mind, forbidden things that he had thought he'd locked away long ago. While his feelings for her had been the same, still strong and merciless in their onslaught against him, they were decidedly less pronounced, as if tamed by time and temperament. A year ago, he was sure he would have never been able to hold that same conversation without feelings of disgust and shame, his pride in the way where his heart should have been forgiving for the circumstances. Now, there was only a faint pain, much less of lost love and closer to the missing of a friend and confidant.

"What is it, Sakura?" he inquired, his attention completely on the young noble turned servant. His gaze fell to her hands that rested at the front of her dress, a letter in between her fingers. His eyes trailed back up to hers, having a feeling that he already knew what she was asking for.

"I've received word from my family, and they're asking for permission to have me sent home." Toying with the corners of the paper, she was overtly nervous, as if expecting him to say no without hesitation.

"Oh really?" He raised a brow, interest piqued at their boldness. "For what reason do they have to call you back from your duty?"

"Lady Tomoyo, my friend and wife of Sir Eriol, is due soon and would like me to be there for the child's birth," she said softly, watching him with nothing but a small bit of defiance. It was his royal whim that she obeyed, but her heart knew no master. She would soon untangle herself from the spell he had cast over it, and eventually he would be nothing to her, just as she already was to him. This could be the start of that, the start of their end. And she so desperately wanted an end to this, if not for her own sake than for some much-needed peace of mind.

He examined her, and she turned her head away, refusing to meet his eyes. For some reason, he had a feeling there was more in that letter than this simple account, something she didn't want to tell him. And just that thought was enough to put some fire behind him, as he frowned in contemplation.

"What is it that you're not telling me?"

"I don't know what you mean, Master," she answered, trying to force some cheer behind her words. But her face looked awfully tired, almost gaunt despite the fact that she was eating regularly. No, it was more of an emotional starvation she was going through, and her feelings were tumbling through her. The slight guilt he had set aside was starting to swell, as he grasped the extent of her pain. Sakura was never one to shy away from her passions, wearing them heartily on her sleeve with nothing to protect them. But it seemed that her turmoil was manifesting its way physically onto her face and body, leaving a silhouette of what he remembered her to be, of what he knew she truly was.

"I know you're hiding something," he pursued, the anger in his voice misdirected but was only met with silence on her part. Truthfully, it was himself that he was angry at for allowing her to suffer so long and so far all by herself. For him, it was a perfectly normal thing to deal with pressures alone; his pride was a well-developed shelter for his pains. Sakura had none of that strength, and instead she depended on the will of others to push through her own hardships. He wondered why he had never considered it before.

_It's because you never wanted to think about it,_ his brazen conscience accused, and he almost flushed at the admittance. He had blocked Sakura out so long that he had forcefully forgotten about her, hoping he wouldn't have to see those eyes stare after him listlessly. But, it seemed that fate hadn't been so willing to let her forget.

"If you don't tell me what you're hiding, then I can't let you see them." No one ever gave him much credit for his tact, but it seemed to wake her up, as her eyes met his in a dark frown. She hated when he did that, absolutely loathed his ability to manhandle his way to get her to do his every bidding.

"It's nothing of your concern." It was a dismissal, the first she had ever given him, and it caused a bolt of fury to course down his spine.

"I think I'll be the judge of that."

"I assure you, Your Highness, there is nothing wrong."

"Your impertinence is testing what little patience I have for you, Sakura. I may respect you, but only that can last for so long."

"Then perhaps it is time you be rid of me."

The sheer audacity left him stunned, dark eyes widening largely as hers seemed to become a spark of life in comparison. She was closing herself off, pushing all the right buttons so he'd find her unnecessary to him. He wasn't sure if she planned to say it, or it was merely a spur-of-the-moment sort of answer, but it wasn't a flippant one. This was her wish, to wash her hands of him and start anew. For some reason, the thought made his stomach turn.

"If you don't remember, Sakura, you are here to protect your family." His eyes narrowed dangerously, challenging her newfound courage with his own tried determination. "If I let you go, then I take everything from your family, every one of your belongings would become mine. Is that what you want?"

"I never said a thing about leaving," she sniffed, her nerve growing while his irritation rose with it. "I'm saying that perhaps it's time to assign me elsewhere or to someone else. You have female relatives, no? Maybe one of them needs a lady to care for the home, or a tutor for their children. Despite what I've learned here, I am not nearly as competent as a maid as I am as a home manager or teacher. You truly have no need for me in a place as large and well-run as the palace."

"So you want to leave using the excuse that you're unfit to serve here?" He scoffed noticeably at the end, but she ignored it. Her nod was agreeing, slow but sure of the action. It only made him tighten his hands into fists, something akin to indignation lighting in his belly. "I believe I am the one who decides something like that, not you."

"You decide everything, Your Highness. I am only trying to give you options." Green eyes narrowed in response, her face twisting to reveal that hatred that was brewing deep inside her. While she would never say it aloud, Sakura wanted out of this manmade prison, out of this pathetic excuse of a master-servant relationship. She wanted a life of friends, family and perhaps a bit of love, something she had yet to feel but she felt was well deserved. He didn't want her but kept her to keep up appearances; she didn't want to need him so she did her best to cut him off, as fruitless as it was to try.

"You're only doing this to protect yourself."

"Yes." Sakura hesitated for a second, but it was only because she wasn't sure if she was ready to re-open this discussion. To be honest, she would probably never be ready to have this conversation with him again, but it was a necessary evil. If she wanted her freedom, it wouldn't be handed to her; she'd just have to take it.

"Do you think running away will protect you?" he challenged, his fists clenched so tightly that his knuckles began to bleach. For a moment, she was scared he'd turn uncharacteristically violent but knew better instantly, chastising herself for even thinking it. Syaoran had always been passionate, but it was always inwardly directed, a testament to his iron-clad control.

"There is little else I can do…" Sakura trailed off, feeling decidedly helpless before him. It hurt to confront him like this, especially without a decent plan to cushion her words, but she spoke from the heart that held all her pent-up rage and sorrow. It was only right that he be the one hear her frustrations thoroughly. The last bit of the letter began to appear in her mind, where Tomoyo had suggested something so outrageously unlike her that Sakura had to do a re-take just to make sure she read it right. But, it wasn't some mindless decision, nor was it an escape that just so happened to miraculously appear before her eyes. It had been a viable option before she was forced to come to the palace; she had merely been too prideful, too invested in her own ideals to even consider it. Now though, she wasn't sure she had the luxury of putting it off anymore.

Taking a deep breath, Sakura murmured in a quiet, reserved voice. "The only other option besides removing me is for me to marry a nobleman and have him pay the debt."

It was the oddest thing, saying that sentence to him. She was a staunch believer in true love, so dedicated to seeing herself find it, much like her family and friends already had. And it was even stranger that it was to him, the man she had fallen to helplessly for and to who she had lectured one-upon-a-time that she would most certainly fall in love before she married, that she was trying to break away from. Irony had never tasted so bittersweet.

"You would go so far just to forget me?" It had been a long pause between them, the tension and anxiety heavy in the air. But his voice was decidedly void of emotion, giving away nothing.

"I want freedom, and it's not something you're going to hand to me so easily." Between her debt and her chained heart, it was a wonder that her spirit hadn't already broken. They say experience and adversity are the greatest of teachers, but she begged to differ. Heartbreak was certainly a contender for the top spot.

"You think with a husband you'll gain your so-called freedom?" He laughed then, harsh and in a tone unsuited for his standing. "Not every man will be good to you, nor is there any sort of guarantee that he'll hold any sort of affection in his heart once you marry. Don't be so naïve to assume so."

"You're the one being naïve if you think I'm doing this just to get away from you," she snapped, head held high and eyes glaring darkly at him. The curious lift of his brow was the only response she was given. "I have my family to think of, my friends who love me. They wonder every day about my well-being, if I'm happy, if I'm lonely, if I'll ever come home. With a husband, I may never truly be happy but I can at least find some companionship outside of these walls. And who knows? Perhaps the man I marry will fall in love with me, and I with him. It's not the unlikeliest thing to happen."

"Nor is it very probable to occur either," he bit out, feeling a deep sense of apprehension. This conversation was beginning to feel too familiar, encroaching on territory that he thought he'd protected long ago. Many years ago, Minami had come to him with the same exact words, same actions and all, willing to sacrifice herself to help her family and free him from a relationship that would never reach marriage. At the time, it had been devastating. Now, it was just as overwhelming, but for whatever reason he wasn't sure. All he knew was that there was emotion deeply fighting inside of him, stealing away his common sense.

"You have nothing to lose from me getting married. If anything, you gain quite a bit. The money will be paid, I will no longer have to stay here and you will get that much-revered privacy you love so much. There really is no loss."

"And you? Besides your 'freedom,' what could you possibly earn that you're willing to sacrifice so much?"

Her silence was deafening, her eyes meeting his with a sorrowful gleam to them. She had hoped that she'd never have to say those words again, prayed that she would never have to throw her heart at his feet and have it crushed before it was even close to healing. It seemed that her wishes were never going to be answered.

"Being beside the one you love and never being loved back is a punishment I would never wish on even my worst enemies." Her fingers crinkled the hand-written parchment, her sadness dulling the quality of her voice. But she doesn't falter under the weight of her emotions, nor did she attempt to hide them either. They are strong and honest, things she should not be ashamed of.

"I don't want to live my life here, wondering if your feelings would ever turn my way. And I don't want to be the one waiting on your wife when you finally decide to marry. There are certain sentences that debtors deserve, but one such as that is even worse than death."

When she turns to leave, he does nothing to stop her.

* * *

**AN:** Nothing much to say... I hope to end this fic before the end of the year, so please look forward to that. Also, any flames towards me for not writing, please keep to a minimum. I am not a CCS fan anymore (I adore it, but my interest has waned as it does with many people who fall in and out of fandoms), but I do like this story. I don't think I'll be editing to the previous chapters, despite my need to. My writing has evolved a lot since 2007 and I think it shows. I hope that this will satisfy you until I can write an ending that'll satisfy everyone.

Please review, alert and favorite, but of course reviews are my favorite. It's only because of you guys letting me know you rthoughts that I can properly finish this story. Thank you so much and see you soon. =)


	15. Chapter 14: Parting Only to Reunite

**AN:** And we've finally come to the last chapter! I'm actually very excited to see this fic go, mostly because it needed an ending. I started this when I was fourteen (actually thirteen now that I've checked!) and I stopped writing for it around fifteen or sixteen. While I have a deep appreciation for this fic for being one of my first, I also sort of hate it because I really can't remember where I was going with it. That was one of the reasons why it was so hard to complete. :)

Anyway, please enjoy the final chapter, everyone!

_WARNINGS_: Un-betaed as of now. Will edit this later. Haha.

* * *

Approval for her request was granted a few days later, and while it should have felt like a victory, it was a hollow, shoddy one at best. But Sakura would be lying if she said she wasn't excited, as she packed what meager little she owned and ventured on her own for the first time in months. It had been a long but liberating carriage ride, the bumpy roads and cloudy weather reminding her that there was more to life than the confining walls of the castle. She'd do well to remember it when she was due to return in two weeks' time.

When she arrived, she was met by her father and brother, an excited Meilin and exceedingly large Tomoyo bringing up the rear. They hugged her so long and so hard that tears were welling up in her eyes, and she feels the entirety of her situation hit her. The homesickness had disappeared long ago, but the feeling of coming home was still strong in her chest. She hadn't known that seeing the place where she grew up would cause such a stir in her emotions.

Of course she couldn't dodge questions about the palace, how they were treating her, what she did there, if she would ever be released. She did her best to appease them with smiles and soft words, but there were no promises in them. She'd never be fool enough to give them that kind of false hope. They had experienced much by losing her; she refused to compound that grief with her own insincerity.

Her return turned into a small festival in her home, food and laughter and memories were running in large amounts. But the night was still young when she chose to retire, wanting to relax in her room and take in the silence and peace it gave her. There was strength in those walls, something that hardened her resolve to find a way to stay here and never leave again. She didn't have much time, but perhaps something would come about. Her life changed in a moment months ago, so she had faith that she could engineer another chance herself.

There was a knock on her door as she dried her hair, already dressed in her nightgown. She invited them in, as she put her towel down and over the back of the chair. She was not surprised to see her dark-haired friend there, smiling that serene look of hers that she'd maintained throughout her entire life. But there was something lurking there, darker than any other emotion than anything Sakura had seen on her before. It made her skin crawl.

"How are you doing, Sakura-chan?" she asked, taking a seat next to her friend on the bed, her stomach causing her to hunch as she did. The question was inviting enough, but it does nothing to calm the storm in her eyes.

"Fine, Tomoyo-chan. You should know that by now. Everyone's asked a million times already."

"You know that's not what I'm talking about." Her throat clenched as those omniscient eyes glared directly at her, no more room for games. She hated that she was still so transparent, her thoughts as easily seen as they had been when she left. If she had only learned to control them earlier, maybe she wouldn't be in the predicament she was in now. Sakura could deal with unrequited love if she was alone, but not when her feelings were confronted. It seemed that her friend wanted to reopen old wounds.

She didn't even try to fight it. The words spill out like a waterfall, a rush of pressure with nowhere to go but down. And Tomoyo listened to all of it, her wisdom glowing in the light of the candles and intruding moonlight. There was no judgment, but there was no sympathy either. The beautiful woman had always reserved her opinions for the end, choosing her own words simply but well. At the end of her story, it felt as if she had been laid bare, stark naked beneath her assessing eyes. Sakura decided she didn't like it one bit.

"So what do you plan to do next?" Tomoyo inquired, head tilted carefully.

"I honestly don't know. I'm just making it up as I go along." She laughed weakly, trying to ease her nervousness. She'd never planned for contingencies, never thought she'd go through something as dramatic as her current state. No one could truly predict the future.

"Would you like to know what I think?" Sakura nodded, hoping there was something the other girl could offer her. If there was a time to act, it had to be now while she wasn't under constant surveillance. The problem was that she didn't even know where to start.

"I think you should give yourself time," she said simply, the answer neutral and not helping at all in Sakura's opinion. "You've rushed through your life so quickly the last few months, Sakura-chan. And I know how hard it is for you to wait, but perhaps it's just what you need.

"Don't do anything rash now. You might just end up regretting it later."

* * *

It was lonely.

That was the only adjective that could properly describe the estate after Sakura had departed. There was less light in the well-lit rooms, less happy chatter in the kitchens whenever he passed by, less life in the garden that he adored so much. And while he would like to chalk it up to the fact that she had only been gone a few days, truthfully the excuse was a sad attempt at justifying his solitude.

But that had been what he wanted. Prince Syaoran was a proud, lone wolf who depended on no one and needed little. Whatever he required could be achieved either with a little work or suppression of whatever feelings he might have. At least, that was how he usually dealt with his problems.

However, it seemed that Sakura was a special case.

He grew antsy in his wait, knowing the deadline for her return was set in stone and truly not that far away to begin with. When he had given his permission, he'd been relieved to see her go, glad that her confusing feelings and heartfelt confession would follow along with her. But it seemed that traces of the auburn-haired girl were everywhere, invading his head and his private spaces where no one was allowed entry.

He found himself missing her even in those places, waiting for green eyes to look at him expectantly, waiting for an order she'd fulfill no matter what. Despite her words, she was an asset to him, someone who could get any job done with enough tenacity to make up for her lack of skill. And she wasn't nearly as bad as housework; she claimed for she had gained the admiration of the staff her quick learning and stubbornness to finish anything assigned to her. Some days, he expected to see her wiping down windows or cleaning the floor, ready to dirty herself if need be. She wasn't like any gentle lady he had ever known.

But what he missed most about her had been something she'd been missing long before now. The spark of life that had caught him off-guard when he met her, that fire that burned brighter than any star. He'd been looking for it for a while now. Oh, she was still as polite as ever, withholding her last visit, but there was no more pleasure to see him anymore, a blockade put on her own emotions. And Syaoran had a distinct feeling that he had been the one to cause it. He had many regrets in his life, but never one as strong as this.

_The only other option than removing me is to marry a nobleman…_

He clenched his fists, resisting the urge to slam one against the table. Was she mocking him? This had been a business deal, regardless if it was done long before she was even born. And that's all it should have been, a straightforward bargain, no clauses attached. But a person wasn't as clean cut as a contract, messier and infinitely more intrusive than a few conditions and fine prints.

When a knock on his door is heard, the young prince could only sigh bitterly before tell them to come in. It's the main house's head maid, a strict, plump woman who rules with an iron fist over her workers and yet had the oddest ability to appear strangely motherly at the same time. A paradox if he'd ever seen one, as she curtsied in front of him and greeted him good afternoon.

"Do you need something of me?" he asked, voice not quite keeping out the irritation from his previous thoughts. Either she didn't notice or chose not to comment because she nodded, back rail straight and proper. It brought back memories of her looking down on him as a child, as he chides himself for being reminiscent. But somehow it was nice to know that there were some things in this world that didn't change, as odd as her presence was to him.

"I was wondering if anything was the matter as of late, Your Highness." It wasn't a question. He held in a sigh, knowing he should've expected this sort of behavior from the old bat. She read him too well, saw the slight changes in his demeanor as clearly as if he'd yelled them allowed. Those dark, owl eyes perceived too much not to know he wasn't the same man he was a few months ago, maybe even a week ago. He wasn't sure himself.

"My head has been out of sorts lately but nothing you should worry about," he admitted, but the warning underlined the polite tone. When her gaze sharpened, he knew it was the wrong thing to do. Women, he'd never know how that almost sixth sense of theirs worked.

"You've been thinking of her, haven't you?" she asked, but it wasn't really one that needed an answer so he didn't offer one. Instead, he shrugged noncommittally, as if he had no idea what she was talking about. Syaoran was a terrible liar, had been even as a child, so he'd learned that saying nothing at all and looking fierce saved him more times than not. Unfortunately, the strategy would be useless on this old bat.

She moved towards the desk, taking a seat in front of him. He opened his mouth to say something, perhaps a reprimand at her impertinence or a simple inquiry as to why she was approaching him but stopped himself. In all his years, whenever he needed a confidant and had come up lacking, she was there; even now, it seemed that she would still be the one to talk some sense into him.

"If you think of her, then it means that you feel something for her, isn't that right, Your Highness?" It was a question, but it was done out of politeness more than anything else, a way to soften an otherwise rude comment to a noble. He didn't know what to say to her so he nodded instead. It was probably the first time he'd ever admitted the thought to someone else, that he felt something for the doe-eyed girl who loved too openly and easily to not be loved back. The way his heart pounded harder in his chest didn't go unnoticed.

"Then perhaps it's time you do something you've never really done before," she shrugged, intentionally vague and causing him to frown at her. It was another one of her tricks, something to make him say things he'd never admit aloud to anyone else.

"Like what? Let her go? Allow her that freedom without her family's proper retribution?" He snorted, haughty and defiant. But she wasn't fazed, as she leveled a stare that made him feel immensely small, almost like a child again. It was one of the few things he feared, even now as an adult, because it pierced right through his core, unceremoniously shedding his armor of deep sarcasm and well-built protection.

It forced him to confront himself, and Syaoran wasn't sure if he was ready to.

"You do for those that you love things you would only wish upon yourself," she replied with a sagely nod, and somehow the tiredness in her face aged her rapidly in his eyes. He'd forgotten how long he'd known her, how well she knew him, one of the few that could put into words the things he should be doing and not the things he felt he had to do. And damn her, but she was always right too.

"So, you're telling me to let her go." It wasn't a question, and it shouldn't have needed an answer but she still gave him one, just the slightest shake of her head. When she leaves the room, her last words sat heavily on his mind, as he tucked his chin into his hands and closed his eyes in thought. Somehow his resolve steeled itself in his chest, as he grabbed some parchment and a quill, those solemn words haunting him.

"My Prince, you don't let anyone go if you love them; you only let them find themselves so they may come back to you, stronger than before. And while they are gone, you may find yourself becoming someone worthy of their love in turn."

* * *

Sakura didn't have to wait long for Tomoyo's labor. After the first three days, it was a shock when her water broke at lunch, the oddest look on her friend's face as it turned from confusion to recognition and then finally to horror. It had been a mad scramble to call the midwife, alert Eriol, gather all of the necessary birthing items all while trying to calm Tomoyo's nerves.

Luckily, it had been a rather routine affair. The time was neither too long nor too short, and the actual delivery was uncomplicated through and through. By the end, the most beautiful black-haired baby girl was born, crying as she took her first breath and gaining the hearts of every person in the room. A birth was a miracle, and while Sakura had heard it often enough she hadn't understood it well until then. Now, she knew why it was a tried and true saying.

She spent the rest of the week taking care of Tomoyo and doting on her niece, completely enraptured by her. Now she had someone new to love and care for, a bundle of joy that eased any sort of reservations she had about love. Maybe one day she'd find a man who would love her and give her children of her own, but in the off chance she didn't Sakura was content to let this child be what she might never have. It was a somber thought, but one she had to consider.

The work afterwards had been a tiring affair for the new parents, who woke often to feed and change their little girl, leaving scant amounts of time for their errands and themselves. So, Sakura had taken on the home tasks, doing their grocery shopping and cleaning as necessary, directing the workers of the house with efficiency that had been ingrained in her. Touya had nearly died of a heart attack when he learned how well organized his sister was, a far cry from her usual messiness and, as he so loved to call it, 'path of destruction' she used to leave in her wake. She tried not to poison his lunch after that insensitive comment.

But, as all good things do, the second week came to an end.

"Sakura, don't leave!" Tomoyo complained, arms wrapped around her best friend and hopping up and down. She wanted to tell her it probably wasn't the most ideal thing to do just a week or so after giving birth, but the dark-haired girl never listened anyway. So she closed her arms around the other woman, feeling tears well up in her eyes. There were many things she would miss, but this friendship would be one of the most important.

"Take care, okay?" Meilin said, intercepting her when Tomoyo went to Eriol, his arm wrapping around his wife. Her brother and father were silent, the former with an air of distaste and sadness in the other's. After all, this was a situation beyond their control now, growing impossibly more difficult to untangle oneself from. To be honest, they weren't sure if Sakura was any more capable of escaping her fate now than she was before. She had changed; it was more than apparent in anyone's eyes that the woman who had come back wasn't the little girl who left.

As she climbed into the carriage, she turned back with that wide grin and waved widely, childishly unsuitable for her age and rank but it didn't feel forced. She might have been going back, but she wasn't turning around, wasn't turning back to her old, comfortable life. Instead, she could only move forward, eyes set on something in the horizon and currently beyond her reach. All she could do was wonder what it was she was searching for.

_I wonder how Syao… I mean, Master is._ She bit down on her lower lip, feeling any of that old warmth from her family seep out of her. She was returning with ambivalence deep inside her, sorrow mixed with anticipation. She hadn't fallen in love over night, but she definitely had fallen and she was still climbing her way out. And unfortunately she knew that one look at his face, even just a snippet of good humor in her eyes, would have her tumbling down the rabbit hole and all her progress would be gone.

Her thoughts were the only things that kept her company, as the wooden wheels moved through silt dirt and over smooth rocks, the pathway familiar as it jostled the carriage around. And at first there was no suspicion, the rickety movement almost calming. She'd traveled this road many times to many different places before it eventually broke off into other main streets, leading one down many different paths. Sakura knew exactly where they were going, every bend and curve a part of her muscle memory.

But then something started to creep into her subconscious, as she felt the driver turn onto a new path; this one was distinctly different from the normal. It pushed her from her half-asleep state, forcing her eyes open as she pulled open the curtains. She hadn't dozed long and judging by the outside scenery they weren't very far from the trail they'd just left. Sticking her head out and into the sunlight, she called out to the coachman.

"Sir, where are we going?" Sakura asked, hoping he could hear her over the thudding of the horses' hooves. Luckily it was a young man driving, one whose hearing was well intact as he looked over his shoulder to make eye contact with the young maiden. He didn't take his eyes off the road, even as he shouted his response.

"We are heading into the eastern part of the country, my lady. I have strict instructions to see you there," he replied graciously, multitasking as he led his animals down another road, this one paved with actual cement.

"But why?" She tried to disguise the hitch in her voice as mere curiosity but it was certainly more than that. Something akin to fear bubbled in her stomach, accompanied by confusion and a sense of dread. The Royal Palace was up north, closer to their allied territories. This wasn't right, not at all, as she wrung her fingers in her dress. Unfortunately, her only response was a shrug, as he went right back to his task at hand.

When she sat back down, Sakura was surprised to see a small envelope across from her, somehow escaping her notice. Its color blended in with the red velvet cushions, as she grabbed it with unsteady hands. Deep inside, she knew exactly where it had come from and as she spies the writing a feeling of dread overcame her. She read with misty eyes, her fingers to her lips as she took it all in.

He was giving her what she wanted.

_Dear Sakura_, it read, _I am writing this in hopes that one day you'll forgive me for the things I've put you through, for the things I did and the things I hadn't the courage to do. When you told me that you wanted freedom, I forced myself to comply with your only demand of me. While I can't guarantee you such, I can offer you a taste of it. My sister who lives in the farther reaches of the kingdom is looking for a governess, someone bright and energetic to take care of her two growing children. When I read her letter, I couldn't help but think of you. I know it's underhanded of me to force this on you without prior explanation, but it was the only thing I could think of doing. If I had explained in person, I have no doubt I wouldn't have gone through with it and I couldn't take that chance._

_I hope that in time you'll forgive me for this indiscretion as well. Let us meet again one day and greet each other as friends, not as the master and servant relationship that was first placed on us. And maybe by then I'll be able to put into proper words the feelings that I'm still trying to come to grips with. I can only plead that you wait patiently until then, as you have always done so when it comes to me._

_With great hope and… love,_

_Syaoran_

As the letter falls to her lap and her vision blurs with tears, Sakura knew that another chapter on her life was being closed and again, without her permission. She wasn't even allowed the proper closure, to say goodbye properly to those who had taken care of her, who had taught her so much. And of course she wanted one last word with Prince Syaoran, not a scrap of paper that wouldn't answer her questions or deflect her anger. It was cruel; _h__e_ was cruel. That was the only thing she could think, as she curled into herself in the corner of the carriage and willed her sorrow away.

But some paths weren't truly finished crossing; one day she'd learned that they diverge again a little further down the road.

* * *

_Three Years Later_

He had to have loved his sisters very much because if not then he didn't know why he subjected himself to their countless balls and soirees on a monthly basis. But this was as worthy a cause as any, as Syaoran was never one to turn away at the birth of a new niece. Only a few months old and already he was hearing stories of her awesome beauty and sparkling personality. If this was what it was like now, he could only imagine what he'd hear when she became of age.

He half-hoped she'd be a bit of a hellion, just to make his sister angry.

After travelling the long, winding paths to his sister's husband's estate, he took in the shining crystal chandeliers and extended buffet table, noting that nothing was too much for this little get-together. He wanted to shake his head because what sort of infant needed the highest grade meat and couples in their finest wear to celebrate being born? But the question was moot, as he went to greet his sister and the bundle of joy in her arms.

Doing his best to ignore the excited whispers of the surrounding young women, Syaoran kissed his sister's cheek and shook his brother-in-law's hand, giving then a curt smile. And as he gazed upon the latest addition to his family, he could feel his heart pound just a little bit harder in joy. Because, even if all the praise is stretched and contorted with unwanted subtext, his niece was everything they said she'd be.

"Isn't she beautiful?" her mother doted, leaning to nuzzle the nose of the sleeping babe. He could only nod, entranced by the tiny, balled up fists and feather soft skin.

"Where are her siblings?" he couldn't help but ask, as her father comes in to take the little one and put her down for a nap. How lucky his sisters were to find husbands who loved them just as much as they loved their offspring, a rare occurrence in the upper circles that left the youngest royal sibling a little envious.

"They're with their companion, probably playing outside. You know how they are," she laughed, pointing towards the opened glass doors that led to the garden. And even though it had slipped his mind on the way here, the feeling of anticipation was playing at the bottom of his stomach as he moved towards the doors.

Something… no, _someone_ was there, someone he had long forgotten about, pushed to the edges of his mind to make room for his duties and parliament and other things that made for helpful distractions. Because if not, then he didn't know how he'd function on a daily basis, always wondering what she was doing or if she was well. Too many half-written notes had accumulated in his waste bin over the last few years, penned with frustrated scrawl and filled with pointless topics that he had deemed safe. But they were so close now, for the first time in years; he'd be a fool to make the same mistake twice.

The laughter was loud and boisterous, as two dark-haired children, one boy and one girl, bound away from their keeper. She made an exasperated noise, but it was all for show, as she smiled that familiar grin. It made her face light up, green eyes twinkling in mirth and joy, things he hadn't realized he'd missed. The look stole air from his ribcage, as he watched them play in the cool grass beneath the lowering sun. Something flashed in his mind's eye for a moment, as the older boy's coloring went from black to chocolate brown and the girls' hazel eyes became emerald.

For a second, he couldn't help but think that's what his own children would look like.

As he stepped into the outdoor air, he intercepted his little niece and nephew, who look up at him with adoring eyes. Ruffling the boy's hair and giving the girl a kiss, he directed them to find their grandmother, saying that she had a few gifts for them. It was more than enough to have them racing inside, leaving him with an apprehensive but serene looking Sakura. And even though time has spanned between them, long and leaving neither untouched, he couldn't help but think that they've only gotten better with age.

"Sakura…" Syaoran murmured, not sure how to start. It almost made her eyes widen, hearing him sound so unsure, so unlike himself in every way. She thought she knew him, every last little detail, and yet he'd never spoken like that before, had never looked at her with a melancholy that wasn't masked by his regal overconfidence. And it made all the difference to her, as walls go down infinitely faster than they were put up, while she smiled that genuine, heartfelt beam of hers. When she extends her hand and he takes it in his own, something was telling that things would be different for them the second time around.

**THE END**

* * *

**AN:** I'm sure for some people this wasn't as satisfying as it could be, but I've come to realize that a lot of the happy endings I wanted for older fics don't really fit my frame of mind anymore. So yes, it's open-ended but I'm sure you can all come up with suitable ones in your own minds. After all, a story isn't a story without a little imagination.

Thank you all so much for reading and sticking through this with me, as difficult as I'm sure it was. There will probably be no more CCS from me, but this was good for me. I wanted so badly to finish this piece and now that it's done I feel a million times better. Please review with your last thoughts. Take care, everyone!


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